Major Applewhite Can't Handle The Saban?

Here, young Applewhite is seen dropping "F bombs" on the scout team quarterback so Coach Saban will think he's cool


What a Redheaded, Texas-Style Sandy Vag

When you boil it all down, Applewhite is strongly, strongly considering abandoning a position as the offensive coordinator for a team with 12 Nashunal Champ-yin-ships in beautiful/scenic Tuscaloosa, to go be a running backs coach in crap-ass Austin, Texas.

First off, why would any one want to leave Tuscaloosa? Even the name is beautiful and flows off the tongue. So much to offer...the beautiful Black Warrior river...Weekends at The Bear Bryant Museum, The Flea Markets and Alabama Adventure (post-chapter 9 "Visionland")...proximity to great deer huntin' land, a major Sticks n' Stuff retailer...It's kinda close to cultural hot-spots like Bessemer and Meridian. Damn, they've even got an interstate-highway running through that bitch.

What does Austin, Texas have to offer, other than a great music scene, a flourishing economy, tons more eyecandy and rankings as one of the best cities in America?

Also, who wants to work for a coach who treats you like an "adult" with "respect" and "dignity?" Screw a head coach who doesn't spit on you or doesn't even bother to prank call/dog-cuss your wife for encouraging you to go to church on Sundays with the rest of the "sheep."

What? Go work for Mack Brown? Who needs a boss with "perspective" or "morals?"

Plus, recruiting to Texas isn't even a challenge. It's like finding a million-dollar-bill in your old winter coat pocket. Where's the fun in that?

What do I know, eh? When a coach moves from an Offensive Coordinator in the SEC to a Running Backs coach in the Big 12 after 1 season, there might be a little bit more to the story (hint: read below...).


Obviously, the former Longhorn QB didn't take kindly to his Nick Saban appointed nickname, "Coach Fire Crotch."