Eff Dale's...Grill Your Steak Like A Man

How to Avoid Tailgating Douchebaggery

It has recently been brought to my attention that many men are still ruining perfectly good steaks with so called "marinades" (we're not in college anymore kids, well...at least I'm not). If you're grilling anything better than than a top sirloin from Wal-Mart, you shant be "marinating" in the typical 18 year old frat boy style. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's a time and place for the dishonest "Dale's" types marinades of the world, just not in my home. As for me and my house, we will serve the beef. Straight up. Kinda...

Personally, give me an inch-and-a-half cut ribeye from a reputable butcher or high end grocery store (It's not like you do this every week, so who give a crap if you drop $15-20 on the best steak of your damn life?). I like to get my steaks to room temperate, so leave them covered and out of the fridge for an hour or two before cooking, if possible. First, rub in just enough extra virgin to cover the thing. After 15-20 minutes, I apply a generous layer of sea salt. When I say generous, I damn near coat the sumabitch, then I work it into the meat a little bit by hand. ("They" say you don't get all the sodium intake after grilling, and I want to believe that) My goal with all the salt is to create a crusty, salt infused layer. Then I add a less generous layer of cracked black pepper. Much less pepper than salt, howevermake it pretty obvious. That's about it for the "marinade"

As far as the grilling...I get that charcoal (don't even talk to me about "gas") as hot as it will go (preferably 500+) and sear the shit out of 'em, 1 minute per side. Then the tough part: remove the steaks from the grill and let them sit at room temperature for 15-20 minutes. Just try it...it makes the meat oh so tender (especially with lesser cuts). Then, I cook at mediumish heat for 4-8 minutes a side depending on thickness. (note: I like 'em rare as possible within the bounds of safety, of course) Remove the steak from the grill (without puncturing the damn thing) and allow it to sit at room temp for another few minutes before molestation. That's pretty much it. That's my recipe for pure salty, steak respecting goodness. None of this soy flavored shenanigans.