Reflections - Week 2

Random Thoughts on This Weekend's Football Related Happenings...


Penn State's fallen (in the polls), and Joe-Pa can't get up

- The big games were such a let down. Blowout city. Once again, we learned, when in doubt, go with the experienced quarterbacks (Ohio State, ND won big for a reason) Even though USC seems to reload (geez I hate that term) at quarterback, the rule is: guilty until proven innocent as far as new QBs are concerned.


- Four Shutouts for conference teams this week, and two of those were SEC on SEC with Mississippi State and South Carolina getting the short end of the stick. (Remember that turdtastic SEC opener? Yeah, that wasn't a fluke.)


- College Football tailgates in the South are all about the food. It doesn't have to be fancy, it just hast to be meaty and good. And nobody gives a rat's ass about Fat content, Atkin's or South Beach. Everybody's on vacation from real life and they will eat and drink accordingly. Choose your contribution wisely if you want to be invited back. Even if they don't really like you (or you tried to dance with their mom) they WILL invite you back if you come strong with the eats.



Sausage, Alabama's other dark meat


- Conecuh spicy Sausage is the mac daddy of all cased, ground multi-meats. You will NEVER go wrong grilling this on gameday (unless you burn the crap out of it). I cooked up 2 pounds of juicy goodness this weekend. My gameday platter includes sliced medium Cheddar (any variety of cheese will do), dill pickle spears, crackers and plenty of BBQ sauce (Dry sprinkled generously all over everything and Wet for dipping).

For those of you that is ignant of BBQ speak, "Dry rub" (not that kinda, you perv) is found in the spice section at your neighborhood Publix. This seasoning is made up of Brown sugar, ground peppers and the like. It's not your usual BBQ seasoning but it adds lots of spicy flavor (the best kind). The most fantastic I can find is made by the folks at Rendezvous in Memphis (and not just cause I'm from The Bluff City). Their wet sauce (typical BBQ sauce) is incredible as well. You can find all things Rendezvous here.

Note: I modeled my Sausage plate after Rendezvous, however the Conecuh Sausage definitely kicks it up a notch. (not to brag, but I've been told mine is better than the original...Thanks, Mom)


- Don't mess with tradition: If a 33 year old, short and portly gentleman wants to run naked laps (or "lappage") around the house after Auburn victories, let it happen. You don't want to be the one to blame when if Auburn loses to LSU this weekend. If your girlfriend breaks up with you after that tantalizingly strong display of manhood, it was never meant to be anyway (dumb trick).

Note: You probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, but, yeah, that really happened Saturday night. Thanks for staying strong, baby.

- Who are the mental midgets that still think bringing a huge "D" and cutout of a picket fence to the game is a fun and witty form of self expression. That was cool 10 years ago never. Lets get creative here people. Come strong with the signage or don't come at all. Also, I'm about sick of those acrostic media whores. Wow, you thought up

A ll
B uckeyes Eat
C rap

Congrats to you, my friend!


- Jenn Sterger is not hot. If you think she is, you've been hanging out at too many rural strip joints and/or post-op tranny porn sites.

She is however, one of reasons why half of America's young girls wish for nothing more than to be skanky, little hussies.

Jenn, that boob shaped crease on the top of your boney chest doesn't look at all natural and it's certainly not a desirable fashion accessory. Nose job, Boob job and a bad case of anorexia... You're every guys dreamboat! Come talk to me in 20, when daddy's cosmetic surgery fund has run dry and you look like this...



I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

Sterger, Paris, Nicole and the aforementioned Ashlee Simpson: The guys from South Park said it best...They are "stupid spoiled whores" and they need to be stopped. You'd never see such sluttery in the stands in the SEC West (and the East with the exception of Florida). It's not that our girls don't have the goods, they just don't have to buy them, cake on makeup and stick them in your grill every chance they get to feel good about themselves.

Daddy didn't hug these leathery skanks enough, or as Orson put it these "scantily clad catcher's mitts." Classic!

I think I'm gonna start a support group: The Foundation to Combat Stupid Spoiled Whordom (Saving The latest MTV generation from Themselves)