Bama Fan of the Week - Ob-la-de, Ob-la-da!

Joey Barrett Jr.




Remember this stud?

On November 18th, 2005, the night before the annual Iron Bowl between Auburn and Alabama, Joey Barrett, Jr., a lifelong Alabama fan and now 25, went to a fraternity party at Auburn and yelled “Roll Tide!” A brawl then broke out, with Barrett stabbing one of the fraternity brothers.

The brother was hospitalized with a collapsed lung. Two others who were lucky enough not to get stabbed were also hospitalized.

Yeah, well somehow, almost three years later, Joey's still making his UAT brethren proud. As The Sporting Blog and al.com reported, not only is Joeseph a stabby, mixed marshal arts douchebag...He also bribes retarded people. [letting that thoroughly sink in] Quite the resume builder...

The defense attorney in the 2006 trial told jurors that Louie Holtz, now 40, of Mobile, would admit to get ting caught up in the fight and testify that it was he, not Barrett, who stabbed the fraternity brothers. The judge in the case, however, ordered Holtz to secure counsel, noting that Holtz had previously been declared mentally retarded.

Holtz's attorneys subsequently advised him not to testify.

Because the jurors had already heard that someone else was going to admit to the stabbings, however, the judge declared a mistrial. Abbett said investigation into the case continued after the trial, eventually revealing that Barrett had offered Holtz a car in exchange for taking the heat on the assault charges.

OK, this wasn't just incredibly, dreadfully god-awful, but it seems pretty feeble-minded to me. Can retarded folk even drive? It's kinda like trying to bribe me with free birth control pills or a Boeing 747. Not so fast, Tider!

Wonder what Corky thinks about this mess...



In related news, how amazing is it that the special dude's name is Lou Holtz?

Mindless Morning Youtubery

There's a lot to love about Alabama, but rampant, unabashed ignorance is not on the short list. Especially among our leaders.

This is why there are dry counties throughout our state (and the South) who can't attract quality restaurants, other related businesses or industry ("If they wanna get dranked, we don't need em. They can set they sinnin'-shop somewhere else")...This is why we can't enjoy the Satan's 40 ounces of malt liquor (It's just too danged big. Let 'em buy 24 of the smaller ones instead.")...why the grocery store has to shut down the beer isle on Sunday before noon, which just so happens to be the time when I always seem to want to do the devil's work ("If they ain't at church, let's at least keep 'em from sinnin. Them whores can't help they self.") [/rant]

Well, change in The South moves about as quick as molasses. Just ask the fine folks at Free the Hops Alabama. They don't want much (not any of that crap I was just talking about)...They just want the same rights afforded to beer that have been afforded to wine in this state for decades. Here's a maddening clip that FTH put together. Consider it your daily dose of ignorance, courtesy of our very own elected officials...


[HT: Quin]

In case you didn't get all that the first time, the poster child for Alabama's legislative brain trust...The Pride of Montgomery...Alvin A. Holmes:

“Yo, what’s wrong with the beer we got? I mean, the beer we got drank pretty good, don’t it? I ain’t never heard nobody complain about the, uh, beer we have. It drank pretty good. Budweiser. What’s the names of some of them other beers? Budweiser and what else? Miller. Coors. It drank pretty good, don’t it.”

– Representative Alvin Holmes, 78th Alabama House District - Elected 1974

[Alabama Budweiser Boycott - al.com , youtube]