REVIEW: Trattoria Simpatico- *** / $$$

Oh little Jamestown. So small yet so packed with cool stuff. You'd be surprised with the density of gourmet offerings on Rhode Island's second biggest free-floating land mass. It has, now with Wickford Gourmet's closing, the only gourmet shop I know of for miles in Grapes & Gourmet, the delicious Tricia's Tropigrille, Chopmist Charlie's, and enough seafood to choke a horse. All this food and a killer view of the Newport bridge as you walk the pier make for a unique experience. But, while seafood bars and clam cakes are nice, what if you decide you want a fancier, dare I say it, nicer dining experience to compliment your summer evening in the Ferrari with Ms. Bambi?

And with that q-linary quandary, we come to Trattoria Simpatico. Around since the early 90's, TS has managed to build up a decent reputation among locals as the go-to spot for fine dining if one doesn't want to brave the no-locals-land of Newport. It's definitely the fanciest restaurant on Jamestown, and also the priciest. Is it worth it?

I lived on Jamestown for over a year and only managed to go just as I was leaving for new quarters, elsewhere. I had sort of built the place up in my mind, if for no other reason than the name sounds impressive. I came away rather disappointed. That was over two years ago and I figured to give the place a second shot.

Simpatico recently won a Rhode Island Monthly award for best al fresco dining, and boy howdy are they right. Last I ate, I ate inside, being winter. I can't remember when, specifically, but I kept leaving to check the Patriots' playoffs games in the bar. The outside area is wonderfully realized. Touches such as the water fountain come across as genuine and in their element as opposed to kitschy. The generous placing of flowers, plants, and well-trimmed foliage integrate very well with the structure and give the area an aged, European feel. And boy does TS know they've got the goods when it comes to dining area. The al fresco area not only makes up the bulk of their seating capacity, they even provide a jazzy-yet-boring band to do smarmy, elevator music versions of hit songs.

The canopies provide protection from the elements and allow eating outside even in inclement weather. In fact, I can think of nothing more romantic than dining in a light rain storm and assume it would be quite the experience. The canopies themselves are very nice. Attractive wood frames around each corner give a sense of permanence to the otherwise temporary structures that make them feel as though they're part of the building as opposed to the tents they actually are. As the sun goes down, the white Christmas lights draped throughout the area get better, but they never seem fully integrated into the overall design. Still, they're pretty.

The tables are well-dressed and attractive, with bright white table clothes and attractive tableware. Fresh flowers add flare and color to each table. And while many of the tables have nice, wrought metal chairs, the tables under the outlying tents are made of a cheap, Wal-Mart grade plastic. It's not much of a complaint, but it distracts from the otherwise well-composed aesthetic. And if you want the absolute ultimate in intimate dining, there is an utterly adorable wrought iron gazebo just big enough to fit a small table and two chairs. It's completely covered in ivy and flowers and seems to have been ripped straight from a French movie about drinking wine and speaking breathlessly about nothing.

But the food! Right, the food. Well a meal can't be started without starters, and here TS impressed. The crab cakes were very good. Firm and flavorful with large, heaping chunks of crab meat wedged into them. The potato salad nestled between the pair of cakes went well with the seafood. The light, crisp vegetables added some good contrast in texture and the sauce was flavorful and present in copious amounts. All around, a very good pair of crab cakes and a good value at $14. The bruschetta wasn't amazing, but it did nothing wrong and makes my list of bruschettas worth getting. A nice combination of crisp, fresh veggies, sauce, and good bread made me a fan. The bread was presented in the nicest fashion I've ever encountered. Two entire loaves were brought out warm, enrobed in a white cloth in what looked like a small picnic basket with a large bottle of olive oil. Again, this trendy olive oil nonsense is beginning to drive me mad. Give me butter! Nice touch, though.

The entrees were hit and miss now as they were then. The orrichiette was very good. Cooked al dente to just the right amount of firmness, the sauce, sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, and spicy sausage combined into an excellent whole. A strong, smokey flavor filled my tongue with every bite. If you go, I highly recommend you get this dish. The tortelloni was also very good. The filling was cheesy with just the right amount of nuttiness, and was cooked to perfect al dente degree. The cheese and greens piled on top went very well, but it wasn't enough to draw my eye away from my companion's orrichiette.

The pork is a serious problem. The last time I went to Simpatico I got the grilled pork loin. It wasn't very good. I'm not one to complain so I went home assuming that the chef was tired, or high, or in the middle of a mild seizure. Nope, they just can't cook pork. Both times, it was dry and bland. Is it really so hard to brine the pork? The potato and onion roesti was tasty, but it was very loose and difficult to get both it and some pork on the fork. If you wanted onion and pork to combine on your palate, you needed some of both, and that was an exercise in multiple utensils. The spicy corn salad and mango coulis were both served cold, which created a jarring temperature contrast with the hot pork, which also resulted in the meat losing its temperature very quickly. The small amount of mango coulis was a disappointment, since it was the only aspect that added any fire to the dish. They should have heated it and dumped a generous pile right on top. Steer clear of their pork.

The tenderloin was guilty of a similar infraction. It was ordered medium rare and delivered medium. Now tenderloin isn't the most flavorful cut of meat to begin with, but this meat reached new heights of bland, I don't know how. It was tender enough, but dry. It was saved by an adequate Bearnaise sauce, more of which was needed, and some tasty mashed potatoes. Still, for $37 I expect something better than a tenderloin I could cook poorly at home for a third the price. I'm seeing a pattern, steer clear of the meats in general.

The desserts weren't as scattershot in quality as the entrees. The creme brulee had good texture with a wonderfully delicate lime flavor that went surprising well. The fruit tasted fresh enough, but the melted sugar on top was very thick. I actually enjoyed it, but a companion of mine disliked it enough to dig the creme out from under the brulee. It would come down to a matter of personal taste, because the dessert as a whole was well-made. The touch of lime is something I've not seen elsewhere, and as such I would return specifically for it. The same cannot be said for the Mocha Toffee Chocolate Crunch Bars.

They are well-intentioned, but it is just four bars of utterly overpowering chocolate and espresso flavor, sweetened to the point of being cloying. There was toffee used as a "crust," which added no contrast in texture or flavor. What it really needed was something crispy to better interact with the softness of the mousse, be it meringue, cookies, or crackers, and a buttload more of the raspberry coulis. The Neopolitan was a big hit with everyone. Simple, tasty, reaaally unhealthy. A dense, fudgey brownie, piled high with house-made whipped cream, strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries, bathed in creme anglaise and raspberry coulis. I've had better creme anglaise, Al Forno comes to mind, but it's basically a brownie sundae, so who cares? It was good.

So, in the end, I was certainly disappointed with Tratoria Simpatico. It was good, but it was expensive with preparations that didn't match the price. Since it's the atmosphere that you really want, they, thankfuly, have a more affordable and reasonable way to experience it. Along with the dinner menu is a well-balanced and generally affordable wine list, so just meeting for desserts and wine sounds like a wonderful option for a night out. They also have a large, impressive, and better-priced lunch menu. The smaller "cafe menu" has some of the lunch menu's offerings and is available all day. Combined with an equally large and impressive list of thirty specialty drinks and a raw bar, Simpatico offers many ways to experience their excellent al fresco dining without paying too much for some middling entrees.

Trattoria Simpatico: ***
Price range for two: $50-80

http://www.trattoriasimpatico.com/


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14 Narragansett Ave
Jamestown, RI 02835
401-423-1490

REVIEW: Three Sisters- *** / $

The little area on the northern end of Hope street is quite the gourmet mecca. Sitting between India and the plaza containing The Garden Grille, Rasoi, and LG's BBQ, and just down the street from such local luminaries as Chez Pascal and Seven Stars Bakery, Three Sisters has quite the prestigious company. Here, they're much more focused on take-out, with a heavy emphasis on sandwiches, salads, and ice cream. Rather standard in the world of the extended cafe business model. And you know what? That's just fine.

The inside is adequately appointed. The dining area isn't particularly notable. It feels a bit empty and glaring. Not the comfy, nestle-down-with-a-book sort of atmosphere you expect from a cafe. The large, paper prints outs for displays also don't scream professionalism. The chairs are pretty comfy, even if the couch is a bit beaten up. THe bench running along the wall isn't ergonomically amazing, but it gets the job done, as do the hard chairs abutting the small tables. All in all, an interior that gets the job done.

The espresso and coffee drinks are what originally attracted me. They use New Harvest, which does all its roasting about five minutes down the road, so one can only assume the beans are still warm when they get them. As expected, the espresso was rich and powerful. I've said it before, but New Harvest makes some of the best roasts in New England. They chose a dark, full-bodied blend for their espresso, so I obviously found them more than acceptable. I have always preferred the darker, richer roasts, as opposed to the light, acidic roasts. Although I prefer the latter for straight up coffee. It must be told, though, that the espresso to be had a bit down the street, at Seven Stars Bakery, is better. Their machine is much more impressive, and the baristi are more experienced. Still, Seven Stars closes at six, which leaves you SOL (Shit out of latte) if you want one at eight.

The food is... food. They invent nothing, but do the standards well. And with everything costing $5.95 or less, this is not a place where you can easily break the bank. In fact, unless you eat in amounts usually reserved for hippos, I think it's impossible. Smoothies are pretty good. They have a wide selection, with ten varieties filling the menu. The smoothies I got were a bit thin, but flavorful enough, and not very icy, all pluses. While leagues better than the smoothies I recently got at La Creperie, they aren't better than the smoothies at Fresh City... which is in Warwick. So if you want smoothies, this is a pretty decent place to get them. Ice cream was good, but the cookies and cream I got was a bit icy. Good chunks of cookie made up for that, though, and I enjoyed my cone a lot. They have a good selection of mix-ins, and a good selection of flavors. They're the only place in the area that serves ice cream, that I can think of, and since their prices are good, you should stop by.

Three sisters is a pretty good place. It's a blessing they stay open as late as they do, because sometimes you just don't feel like making a trek to downtown, or north to Lincoln Mall, to find a cafe that's open for nighttime visitors. Combined with good sandwiches and salads that compliment the coffee very well, and good smoothies and ice cream for dessert or hot summer nights, you would be well served to visit these three.

Three Sisters: ***
Price range for two: $10-$20

http://www.threesistersri.com/


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1074 Hope St
Providence, RI 02906
401-273-7230
Hours
Monday through Thursday 7:30am to 9:00pm
Friday 7:30am to 10:00pm
Saturday 9:00am to 10:00pm
Sunday 9:00am to 9:00pm

REVIEW: Le Crêperie- *** / $

Sacray Bluh! Eet eez juss lyke gaa Pairee! Perhaps not, but if all that concerns you about France is their food, La Crêperie is a great place to get some at some good prices. Quaint, cozy, full of character, and having a wide selection of crêpes, smoothies, and wraps, the charming hole-in-the-wall provides Thayer walkers with something to think about in place of the countless sandwich shops.

The inside is cozy... very cozy. Actually, you better hope the person next to you doesn't smell too bad, because you're going to get very intimate with them during your stay. I've never been here during a busy time, so I have no idea when the busy times are. I assume the lunch rush during the school year would be brutal, and perhaps an after-work crowd, but any other time is a steady flow. During these times, the space inside is more than enough to manage those who wish to sit and eat, and there are usually empty tables if you're one of them, but anything approaching busy could send the line clear out the door.

I liked the bohemian atmosphere. Quirky, friendly people work the register and prepare the food, and the music selection is firmly in the eclectic category. some French touches to the decor make you feel like you're there, such as a photo-realistic drawing of some gates (pictured), some French words, and very small tables. All in all, a pleasing interior that has both hole-in-the-wall charm and a nice layout.

The menu is anchored by, shocker, crêpes. They have a decently wide selection and you can easily request your own fillings. Both the sweet section and savory section have ten crêpes up for eating, and nine wraps bring up the rear. The wraps are all quality, but I have no idea why you'd be coming to a place called the Crêperie for wraps. They have a display of eight teas, which is more than many places (lazy bastards), and a small selection of sodas. It's here where I wish the smoothies were better, or they had coffee, because both would go wonderfully with the finished crêpes.

So yes, about those smoothies. They're not very good. The ones I've gotten are icy, sour, and watery in flavor. I don't know whether they're using too much ice, not enough yogurt, or just crap fruit, but the end result is sub-standard smoothies. You'd be much better served to head just down Thayer to Juniper and get one of their higher-quality concoctions. This leaves you with their selection of Soda and tea. And, wait, you still drink soda? You philistine. All judgment aside, the carbonation doesn't go very well with the sweet crêpes, so if you want a drink, go for the tea.

On to important bits. For all intents and purposes, the crêpes are a home run, or at least a double. Most of the recipes are pretty bulletproof (like Nutella and bananas could ever fail), and the crêpes themselves are of good quality and preparation. They're cooked rather thick, which may offend purists, but I enjoy my crêpes a bit thick. What I don't enjoy are the undercooked insides. Since the crêpes can't be burned, they can only be cooked for so long. As such, some of their more inventive fillings never have enough time to cook. Either pre-cooking, or a quick bake after folding would be enough, but as it stands, many of the vegetables hit the table undercooked and cool. A prime offender in this area was the Rita, with spinach, tomato, onion, mushroom, and feta. My favorite is the Lisa, with turkey, tomato, swiss, and a good béchamel sauce. My least was the Nina, a mixture of apples and brie that fell totally flat. Bland, bland, bland. The apples were overly tart and weak, and the brie wasn't very creamy or sweet.

The sweet crêpes are generally more pleasing, with sure-fire hits like the aforementioned Nutella-Banana combo, the Connie. Not healthy enough for you? The Creperie, with its mixed seasonal fruits is good, but at the mercy of the fruit quality, which the Nina proved can get dodgy. The Nori, with apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar would have been better if the apples had been softened, but they were hard and cool. If they had been softer, it would have been divine apple pie in a crêpe.

And finally, it must be mentioned for those who know crêpes, this place is actually a bit on the expensive side of the crêpe world. While the Betty, with butter and sugar, rings in at a pretty cheap $2.75, that's still nearly three dollars for twenty-five cents of batter, butter, and sugar. And from that point up, the prices rise quickly, with any fruit sending the price up to $4.55-$5.50. Roving crêpe stands in other major cities, like London, will throw two, maybe even three, of these bad boys at you for similar prices. Still, the prices are not nearly expensive enough to cry foul. They're tasty and worth the cash.

So does the Crêperie succeed? Certainly yes. Not like you have any choice, they're the only game in town. And that's about the only reason they can get away with that name. That would be like a cafe calling itself 'The Cafe.' Regardless, the crêpes are well-made and backed by simple, but good, recipes. Combined with the quirky atmosphere, they overcome crap smoothies and, at times, undercooked fillings. All things considered, you would do yourself a disservice by not stopping by, if for no other reason than this selection of crêpes is to be found nowhere else in Rhode Island.

La Crêperie: ***
Price range for two: $10-$18


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82 Fones Aly
Providence, RI 02906
401-751-5536

Hours
Monday through Thursday 10:00am to 12:00am
Friday 10:00am to 2:00am
Saturday 9:00am to 2:00am
Sunday 9:00am to 12:00am

REVIEW: Brewed Awakenings- *** / $$

After a number of other visits to Brewed Awakenings, I feel good about the place. I'm not so hot on the faux-quaint shopping center in which it's located, but the shop itself is good.

As I mentioned in the Quickview, entering BrewAwk is a pleasant experience. It's very large, with comfy chairs and couches littered about. Lots of wood and stone lend the place a decently genuine tone, even if it is faker than Hollywood. Good circulation and large windows give the inside a very airy feel, and it's an absolute charm to sit in the sun which pours through the large panes of glass.

Pretty much everything I said still holds. I have a number of other things on the menu and they are all good to very good. The cake selection is wide and well-made. As you can see in the image, they've got a wide selection of bagels, cookies, fruit, cakes, and pies. They also have a variety of hot sandwiches, such as panini, which are good. The inclusion of bagels and muffins means that BrewAwk is an excellent Morning Routine location, especially with it being right off of busy Route 1. If you're on your way to, or inbetween, classes at URI, it's hard to beat the selection, here. If only...

If only the coffee and espresso was better. In my cafe reviews, I'm weighting the quality of the coffee very heavily, and for all that BrewAwk does right, they do the coffee wrong. They've messed up chai on multiple occasions, now. It was very watery the first time, and has only been somewhat better on successive trips. The coffee was pathetically weak on one trip, but has been good on all others. Espresso is adequate; decently strong and flavorful, with the good earthy tones that go so well in espresso. Sadly, milk steaming is a lost art, here. It's been pretty poor on all trips. Rough, large bubbles steal any sense of silky texture that should be there in well-steamed milk.

The Morning Routine, though, is alive and well. Egg sandwiches taste fresh, bagels are dense and tasty, and all ingredients are quality. Fruit salads, for those of a healthier bent, are also very tasty and devoid of any crappy pieces and the zing of poorly washed fruit. If you just want to say 'fuck it' to healthy, they have those cookies. Wonderfully, the English muffins appear to be Thomas', which is the only brand in existence, as far as I'm concerned.

BrewAwk appears to be trying to move away from cafe roots and into something more akin to a lunch spot. The panini could be forgiven, but the recent availability of wraps, meals, and the like pushes this place past cafe and into a sort of nether region. The selection isn't big enough to be a restaurant, but it's too large to be a really dedicated cafe. I'm not sure the expansion is the best idea. As I've seen, the quality of the espresso is nothing to write home about, and as such BrewAwk fails as a cafe in regards to the very meaning of the word. The selection and atmosphere are good enough where nearby residents will certainly like to visit, but even in the area, much better espresso and coffee is available.

Brewed Awakenings: ***
Price range for two: $6-$10


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60 S County Commons Way
South Kingstown, RI 02879
401-783-0496

Hours
Monday through Thursday 6:00am to 11:00pm
Friday through Sunday 6:00am to 12:00am

REVIEW: Jitters Cafe- *** / $$

I realized that cafes do not fit well into my pricing scheme for restaurants... because they are not restaurants. I will implement the same scheme of one to five dollar signs, but instead the prices will represent drinks for two in two-dollar increments.

Jitters Cafe has been a fixture on North Kingstown coffee landscape for over a decade. Jitters location is sort of genius, actually, situated three minutes from the local, large, high school. And if there's a market that wants caffeine, it's teenagers. This becomes painfully... painfully obvious at right about 7am and 2pm, when seemingly the whole of North Kingstown's 16 to 18-year-old population stops in for a hit. I do not think I can stress enough to not go at those times.

Regardless of the teenage infestation (I've heard they've laid down traps) Jitters satisfies. It's nothing terribly special, but the only other local choices are 9,422 Dunkin' Donutses (Donuts, Donodes, Donuts'?), Gatherings Cafe, and Updike's Newtowne. And depending on your direction, the other two cafes may not be an option. And as far as your morning needs, Jitters will not disappoint.

The inside is very small, with a few tables pressed against the walls as a seemingly token effort to be more than pure take-out. The location does nothing to help them. A large, barren parking lot with no real structure, parking lines, or landscaping, all situated next to a large, industrial... something. The building is nice enough and the inside is decorated in a suitably large number of local gewgaws to remind you how quaint they are.

Most of your vision is taken up with a variety of goods, including a large selection of bagels and muffins, all of which are very good. If you hate bagels and muffins, you communist, they also have a selection of tasties like brownies, fudge, and cookies, and a selection of sandwiches. Pretty much all of this is good, and as far as the competition goes, no one matches Jitters in selection and quality. Their multi-berry muffin, with cran, rasp, and blue-type berries, is a personal favorite.

Now, it seems like this place is shaping up to be a four-star cafe, and if the food was all they served, it may very well be, but we run into some trouble with the coffee. To be short, their drip coffee is sometimes downright crappy, not in a Ohh, this Ethiopian roast is so much lighter than that plebeian Columbian, but in a this-coffee-is-burnt kind of way. And their espresso coffee can vary in quality from excellent, to sub-standard. I've had milk foam that looked like it had been steamed with a hair dryer, and if you value your teeth, be leery of asking for your latte or cappuccino to be sweetened.

It seems to depend on who makes your drink and who's brewing the coffee. Really, I don't find this surprising. Jitters is staffed almost exclusively by teenage girls from the community. I can only imagine what Jitters morning rush is like, so many of them probably hate you, and how well can a 17-year-old girl be trained in the fine art of espresso? It is an art. I've met people who have been making it for years and still say that they could do better. Crafting espresso drinks are not something to be handed over to the poorly trained. Foaming milk is difficult!

Starbucks may hire just about anyone, but much of the difficult stuff is handled automatically by $15,000 machines. A place like this can't afford the hiring practices of Starbucks. They need to be more discerning. I suspect that they aren't this way in light of the varying quality of the drinks I've had. That isn't to say that they don't have some skilled baristas, because I had an excellent latte one day, only to get one that was weak, cloying, and nuclear hot, the next.

If I had wanted sweetened milk, I would have asked for it, and the ideal espresso temperature is 150 degrees, give or take a few. I know the machine monitors the temperature of the shot, so the difference was in the milk, which means it was horribly over-steamed. It wasn't scalded, yet, but they were dancing dangerously close.

Now that I'm done ripping them a new one, I'll go back to say that Jitters is NOT bad. In fact, Jitters is a fine cafe with a few caveats that may be explained by either employees or even the clientèle. For example, the super-sweet latte I received may be associated with the teenage customers who bombard Jitters twice a day. The temperature may be for those who grab their coffee and run, having little time to drink it until later, thus providing good cool-down time. The burnt coffee... ok, well, that's bad no matter how you look at it.

Jitters is a winner with its large selection of bagels, muffins, and goodies. And if you take some precautions, you're going to get good coffee and espresso, too. Ask when the coffee was brewed, if they don't know, get an espresso. If you get an espresso, ask to add the sweetener yourself. And after getting it, test it with your finger so you don't require a tongue transplant. Jitters is not the finely tuned gourmet experience in coffee that you can get at Coffee Exchange, or the nearby Updike's Newtowne, but it's an excellent place for a morning routine.

Jitters Cafe: ***
Price range for two: $5-$10


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(The Google map is woefully inaccurate. The location is north of the arrow.

530 Tower Hill Rd
North Kingstown, RI 02852
401-295-9155

Hours
Monday through Friday 6:00am to 5:00pm
Saturday 8:00am to 3:00pm

REVIEW: Chipotle Mexican Grill- *** / $

Chipotle Mexican Grill is one of those major chains invading our precious state. If only they could all be as good. Taking the place of the old Bickford's RT 2 location, Chipotle has completely renovated the old place, oddly, shrinking the dining area to less than half its original size. While I vaguely miss the Bickford's, its existence always seemed a bit strange, what with two more Bickford's within ten minutes drive from the spot.

The whole place is compact and extremely austere in decor. Lots of metal and bare wood give it an industrial look that's, well, different. I like it well enough, but it's far from cozy and could hardly be described as inviting. It's appropriate, since this is what can be best seen as the modern evolution of fast food.

I don't mean that to sound bad. It is fast food, for sure. If you define fast food as food that is cooked in advance and stored for quick, assembly line-like delivery, that's what this is. The business model of storing the specific bits of food along an assembly line that the customer can travel with the server is a model that's just exploding. Chipotle is certainly far from unique. Another example is the nearby Fresh City. They all even have similar resource models; using as many local ingredients as possible and then advertising that fact.

Chipotle does this model well, though. It doesn't have anywhere near the great selection at Fresh City, but it does its whole Tex-mex thang suitably well. They've got tacos, burritos, fajitas, and salads. It's all made with the same basic ingredients, namely two beefs, chicken, pork, lettuce, sauces, rice, and beans. It's not much, but that's not the point of Chipotle. It's to deliver a quick burrito or taco that actually tastes good. To be sure, Chipotle has Taco Bell square in its sights. This is an edible Taco Bell. You're in, you order, and can be out in less than five minutes. All options cost less than $6, and every one will fill you up.

So, now, I can actually say that I do eat fast food. This is fast food and the old guard of the institution had damn well better be afraid. Because unlike them, this isn't just some cheap crap to fill you up. This is good food in its own right, and the dawning of a new era in what you eat while stuck in rush hour.

Chipotle: ***
Price range for two: $10-15

http://www.chipotle.com

969 Bald Hill Road
Warwick, RI 02886
401-821-3007

Hours
All week 11:00am to 10:00pm

REVIEW: Rasoi- *** / $$

Nestled in an absolutely hideous strip mall in Pawtucket are three, very unique, very impressive restaurants. First up is LJ's BBQ, next to that is Rasoi, and then The Garden Grille. Strip malls are not exactly bastions of high dining, but, for some reason, this one is. The trio represents a dynamite combo of food that could keep you busy for months. From the irony of having a vegetarian/vegan restaurant fifteen feet from a temple to slow-cooked meat, to the figurative and literal middle-ground inhabited by Indian food, Blackstone Place in Pawtucket is a destination that no Rhode Island gourmet should miss.

Rasoi sits in between the PETA nightmare that is LJ's BBQ and the PETA wet dream that is the Garden Grille. I knew it was going to be a tough sell what with India about thirty seconds down the street. India really raised the bar for Indian food around these here parts, but the food is kind of Americanized. While there's certainly nothing wrong with this, for no one could ever argue that India tastes bad, my tongue yearned for a more authentic, Indian experience. I was hoping Rasoi would give me that.

The sign, design, and Indian-looking folks running the place all gave a solid impression. In fact, the logo and sign are so well done that you might be fooled into thinking it a chain. The design of the interior doesn't quite follow from the impression the sign gives you, and it's very inferior to the sumptuous interior of India's two locations. Still, it's an open, welcoming, and well appointed interior. On the night I was there, the music was too loud. As a result, I had a terrible time trying to hear the waiter. Which was unfortunate. He was very friendly. I noticed that the wait staff was all Indian, and everyone in the kitchen appeared to be white. The shoe is on the other foot, it seems. Damn the white man. Yeah. Overall, I was hoping for a more Indian feel and didn't get it. Maybe pillows, or fornicating statues would have done it.

The disappointment continued on into the menu. Lots of good-sounding food stuffs, but all visibly Americanized. The samosas are good, as is the Tawa Jhinga, but the appetizers are otherwise unremarkable. One area where Rasoi shines is its fantastic bread selection. Every bread is excellent, and the naan is a treat. It's the best naan I've ever had. Airy, sweet, and moist, with a wide variety, this is the one area where Rasoi truly outperforms India. The honey and ginger naan is sweet, and the flavor of ginger is perfectly balanced. The coconut and date naan is almost a dessert.

The entree list is large and runs the gamut of usual Indian meats of chicken, lamb, and shrimp. They also separate vegetarian meals with a list of about ten options. The whole of the list is well balanced and quite affordable. All in all, it's a tad cheaper than India, but I encountered some chicken with tough parts. The ingredients at India have never been anything but top-notch. Dessert offerings are almost non-existent, but they offer pretty decent coffee. Nothing much else, but as I said, if you didn't get any at the start, you might as well finish with the honey-date naan.

As far as value goes, Rasoi has a real winner with the lunch menu. It's very large and very affordable and they obviously do not skimp. And for the gourmets who consider themselves more as gourmands, two buffets, a vegetarian one on Saturday and a standard Indian buffet on Sunday, are sure to send your belt out a notch or two. Here, the fact that Rasoi does little to differentiate itself from India doesn't matter. You get an enormous amount of bang-for-the-buck that India doesn't match.

Rasoi makes a good run at India's dominance of the local Indian scene, but it doesn't manage to do any dethroning. They offer delivery, which is a party piece that India is lacking, so homebodies need apply, but for someone more than ten minutes away, that's meaningless. Maybe if Rasoi had gone for fully traditional dishes, or offered a more inventive set of non-traditional ones, they would have gotten somewhere. Rasoi doesn't even deviate enough from Kabob & Curry, the owner's other restaurant, for it to be an entirely separate entity, in my mind. As it stands, they offer some very well made, not-terribly-inventive, Indian dishes that anyone would be well-served to get. And since good Indian food is very hard to come by in the Rhode Island area, Rasoi offers enough differences from the nearby India to make a trip worth it for diners who would like to try something a bit new.

Rasoi: ***
Price range for two: $30-$50

http://www.rasoi-restaurant.com/

727 East Avenue
Pawtucket, RI 02860
In Blackstone Place
401-728-5500
delivery 401-272-3463

Hours
Monday through Thursday 11:30am to 3:00pm then 4:30pm to 9:30pm;
Friday 11:30am to 3:00 pm then 4:30pm to 10:30pm;
Saturday 12:00pm to 10:30 pm
Sunday 12:00pm to 9:00pm

REVIEW: Tavern by the Sea- *** / $$

Wickford is so quaint at times you want to vomit when you visit it. Cute little thingies here, and adorably doo-dads there. Combined with the fact that Wickford remains a functioning fishing village, there is character here that's hard to find anywhere else. The village is forever battling a desire to fill up with overpriced tourist traps for the summer season at the expense of places actual townsfolk might like. Knick-knack shops come and go on a seemingly yearly basis, always replaced by another shop selling the exact same crap. Oh how sad it is.

Tavern by the Sea is no tourist trap. It delivers city-like cuisine and atmosphere for rural-town prices. I am, in word, hooked. They feature a lot of seafood, being in a fishing village, but there's also a wide selection of pastas... some of which have seafood IN them. Still, a hater of fish will not be left out in the cold. Steaks, pastas, chicken, and a semi-large menu give hope that you'll find something you like.

Presentation is very good. Dishes are garnished with flare and color, and wouldn't look out of place in Providence. The taste definitely backs it up. I've enjoyed everything I ate. Most recently I had bruschetta for an appetizer, which is served somewhat pizza-like with a sweet sauce drizzled on top, and chicken picatta for my entree. The chicken came with mixed vegetables and excellent mashed potatoes. The chicken was very good. I was ready to lick the lemon butter garlic sauce off of the plate. I must admit though, it doesn't take much in the way of garlic or butter to get me licking it. Some of the entrees are a bit pricey, and the question of value isn't entirely answered. I've also encountered a few notable gaffes on the preparation of fish like scrod and salmon. Salmon especially is easily overcooked and this has happened on a number of occasions.

The atmosphere is very nice. Cozy, would be a good word, because it's pretty cramped. They made some significant achievements with space, and it's not the most cramped place I've been, but it's not spacious. Still, the food and prices are worth it. Also, as of this writing, they had yet to get a full liquor license. So if you were hoping for anything, and I mean anything, other than beer or wine, you're out of luck.

Tavern by the Sea: ***
Price range for two: $35-$60

http://www.wickfordvillage.org/b_tavernbythesea.html

Tavern By The Sea
16 West Main St.
Wickford, RI. 02852
401-294-5771

Hours
Tuesday through Saturday 11:30am to 9:00pm
Sunday 11:30am to 6:00pm
Closed Mondays

REVIEW: Fadó Irish Pub- *** / $$

The old Lincoln Park is certainly making a go at being a true destination. Still, knowing the previous clientèle for which what is now Twin River was known, namely those who are 9.5 million years old and those to whom dental hygiene means little, I did not enter with high hopes. Aside from the same old clientèle, Twin River and its selection of restaurants impresses.

While Fadó does not impress as much as its Twin River roommate, Fred & Steve's Steakhouse, it was still a good restaurant. Entering, I was struck by how large it was. It seemed to continue onward in all directions. The layout borders on labyrinthine. The bar is enormous and it had a vast selection of beers that any brew-lover will certainly enjoy. It's obvious Fadó fully embraces its niche. They are pushing themselves as a true Irish pub, with all the trappings one would find in a European counterpart, including an obsession with soccer. If you like soccer, this is a dynamite place to go if you like strikers. If there is a single game on in any deep, dark part of the world, it's probably on their TV's.

We were seated promptly in a cozy little corner near some wall-mounted knick knacks. It was fun-enough, but the whole junk-on-the-walls motif, to try and somehow drive home the fact that this place is just another neighborhood haunt when in fact it's a chain, has been driven into to the dirt by TGI Applebee's.

The seats were uncomfortable and my dinner partner's bum found itself falling to sleep on a number of occasions. It also took a very long time for our server to apparently become aware of our existence. I'm not sure how one forgets about customers, but they managed. Once she did, though, service was prompt, if not a bit strange. They are all older than you would expect, as was the clientèle. I, 25, and my girlfriend, 23, were the youngest people in the room by at least a decade. The average age of the wait staff was probably in the late forties or fifties. Moreover, everyone working there seemed to be bored, or drugged. Not bad, just strange. Our waitress apparently had a nervous breakdown halfway through our dinner, necessitating help from another server. She explained that she was helping out our original waitress with the work load. What work load? I think we were her only customers.

We got a three-cheese toastie which was the best grilled cheese I've ever had, and we both got corned beef boxties, which are potato pancakes cooked crepe-style and wrapped around corned beef and cabbage. Very good but unbalanced. I'm not going to knock a restaurant for giving me a healthy serving of meat, but I really would have liked some cabbage in there. There was almost none and the very salty corned beef overpowered the rest of the boxty. The French fries were tasty. Very crisp and well seasoned.

None of the desserts were very impressive, considering the bakery downstairs. The Black & Tan brownie is decent, but its party piece, the Guinness ice cream, isn't very Guinness. It's basically vanilla ice cream with the faintest hint of Guinness that is immediately lost upon biting into the very chocolaty brownie. The chef's dessert of the day is perpetually chocolate cake. The bread pudding is very good and really the only dessert worth considering.

In the end, the star of the show is the rustic charm of the food and the prices. Fadó intelligently doesn't try to outclass its ambiance with its food. Instead, it allows its food to simply be cheap, tasty, and provide just the right kind of sustenance for a night out with other Manchester United fans. All in all, good place, just not a place I'd seek out unless I was really hankering for a boxty.

Fado Irish Pub: ***
Price range for two: $25-$45

http://www.fadoirishpub.com/

Fadó Irish Pub
100 Twin River Road
Lincoln, RI. 02865
401-475-8500

Hours
Closed Monday & Tuesday
Wednesday & Sunday 12:00pm - 11:00pm
Thursday through Saturday 11:00am to 12:30am

REVIEW: The Pump House- *** / $$

The Pump House plays, for Rhode Island gourmets, something of a red-headed stepchild to founding chef Normand LeClairs more famous, and much better but now defunct, Red Rooster Tavern. The Old Rooster's house was recently sold to some development or another and will in all likelihood be turned into another God-forsaken office complex. For me this is truly a sad day. The Red Rooster was a first-class restaurant at a time when South County had no others. Things have changed, obviously. Providence got Al Forno and a slew of other high-end establishments, South County became a national vacation destination, and little Rhode Island is so full of good restaurants that it's hard to pick where to eat. But still, my heart falls back on the Red Rooster. But this review is not about The Rooster. It's about The Pump House. Does it carry on its rich heritage in the absence of its father?

The Pump House is quite obviously a different animal from The Rooster. It's much more relaxed, with a rustic charm to the decor that's warm and cozy and distinctly Rhode Island. The age of the building has not been hidden, with visible aged wooded creaking and bending in all directions. It's a really fabulous dining area precisely because of the lack of architecture. It's a trip into history to a much greater degree than the near-by Coast Guard House.

Service is always good, but it's usually busy, even on weekdays, so expect a fifteen minute wait. Sat, you can partake of the salad and soup bar, which always has baskets of house-made bread. It's a good selection and it's all-you-can-eat, so the price is right.

Appetizers and entrees are all very basic. This is a restaurant that's aiming to be nothing more than a neighborhood haunt. Prices are excellent, as would be expected of a haunt, so the lack of inventive dishes can be forgiven. Moreover, I have never considered mozzarella sticks to be a waste of space on a menu. In fact, I think any menu can be made better with their addition. The French onion soup is a standout. I thought it was excellent. The sandwich selection is decently large and everything is well done and very cheap. Good sandwiches, I guess, is all that can be said. Their Fish & Chips needs to be mentioned, since it's basically whatever they dragged in out of the ocean that morning, fried up and served. You don't get fresher.

For the entrees, the prices are excellent. Only two dishes crack the $20 level, and those are the filet mignon and a sirloin/stuffed shrimp surf 'n turf. This place is very, very affordable. There is a heavy emphasis on fish, and being so close to the ocean the ingredients are quite good. Some standouts are, obviously, the very cheap filet and the butter rum chicken. Especially the butter rum chicken. Lip-smacking tasty, that was. Still, it's a generally unimpressive selection. It has everything you'd expect, and it's all well-prepared, but not much more. Most importantly is how bland everything is. I can only assume The Pump House is catering to the over-175 crowd, since the entrees are not only unsurprising, but frequently bland as all get-out. This hypothesis is supported when the average age of the dining room at peak hours may very well hit the triple digits. Not bad, but bland. If I was either five or five-hundred, I'm sure I'd love it. Desserts are the expected standards. Cheesecake is always a safe bet, and here is no different.

So, I guess, The Pump House does not carry on the tradition of the grand old Rooster. It chooses to be something entirely different. It's not trying to be world-class. The elderly clientèle that packs the dining hall every night tells me that not only are they trying to be something else, they're succeeding with flying colors. In that sense, maybe they deserve five stars. Maybe they're smarter than me. Maybe their food is the result of a culinary master knowing his audience perfectly. Perhaps, but the Rooster wasn't that, and I think this place does nothing to rise above its status as neighborhood haunt. It's good, certainly better than most places with these prices, and if you're nearby it's worth a stop, but otherwise The Pump House is unremarkable.

The Pump House: ***
Price range for two: $40-$60

http://www.diningquest.com/client/The_Pump_House/?id=890;

The Pump House
1464 Kingstown Rd
Wakefield, RI 02879
401-789-4944

Hours
Dinner: Monday through Saturday 4:00pm to 10:00pm, Sunday 12:00pm to 9:00pm
Lunch: Tuesday through Friday 11:30am to 2:30pm
Pub open 2:00 p.m. to closing.

REVIEW: The Coast Guard House- *** / $$$

The Coast Guard House is a tough place to review. It's got so much charm that often middling food is overshadowed by eminently friendly service, architecture, character, and sights. It's places like this that help me see why guides such as The Michelin and the Gault Milleau only review based on the food and not on other aspects, such as AAA or Frommer's.

The Coast Guard House is set in, get this, a coast guard house. A real one. It was built in 1888 as a life-saving station to go along with Narragansett's status as a resort destination. The archway known as The Towers is all that remains of this bygone era, being the last remnant of the once mighty casino which had a weird penchant for burning down. The third time it went down, they just gave up.

Arriving, situated ON the water, with cool sea breezes sending waves of salty air dancing across your cheeks, the relics of 19th century Rhode Island towering above you, and the calls of sea gulls adding an impromptu soundtrack to your entrance, the Coast Guard House impresses without even having to do anything. On busy summer nights, this impression can be ruined by the unending waves of loud people, cars, and boats. But come on a cool night in the summer, or after the tourist season has passed, and prepare to be just blown away.

Finally entering the dining area does nothing to dampen your impression (This doesn't include The Deck which is mentioned in the note). The bar area is wide and luxurious. Flat screen televisions abound for game nights, showing that the management holds no sense of self-importance. They want customers. Service has always been eager, pleasant, and artfully danced the line between chattiness and professionalism. Table dress is excellent and our waiter once even commented that our silverware wasn't "acceptable" and whisked some of it away for new.

And now for what the night is all about, the view. The view is unparalleled almost anywhere in the world. During sundown, the sky lights up with all manner of colors and shades. Sea gulls drift in the wind. Water crashes on the rocks below. And as night settles in, lights begin to twinkle and dance on the Narragansett shore, Newport becomes visible in the distance, and the periodic flash of the Jamestown lighthouse makes itself known.

Unfortunately, the food does not match the view, the location, or the atmosphere. The Coast Guard House is an example of what can happen when grand ambitions are either unfocused or backed up with a kitchen that just can't handle it. Presentations are always well done, but the quality of preparation can really suffer. One night, the diver scallops can be large and perfectly prepared, and another night be overdone and gritty. Steaks are a real crap shoot. The clam chowder comes in an incredibly impressive bowl, but lacks any chunks. There is no potato and one bowl had no clam in it. It comes across as more of a bisque. For what it is, it's very good, but I wanted clam chowder.

Difficult-to-cook fish steaks are also dodgey, depending on who's in the kitchen or how burdened the place is. Crab cakes are served with almost no aioli, apparently to be artistic. Sometimes, they're excellent, other times they're greasy and over-cooked. A real star is the stuffed lobster, which, possibly because it's so heavily pre-prepared, is always well done. A real knock against the menu is its total lack of variety. It does not venture much into continental and the heavily seafood bias leaves those who don't like seafood are limited to, pretty much, steak.

Desserts are usually good, but their star, the Black Oyster, varies in quality and preparation with the rest of the menu. Sometimes the mousse bombe in the middle of the wafer "shell" is shaped poorly and the mousse is dry. Other times, it's perfectly round with scrumptious mousse. Orange creme brulee is dee-lish. Coffee is interesting. I ordered a cappuccino and got the smallest cup-o-cheeno I've ever gotten. It was only slightly larger than your average espresso. Nothing against Euro-style, but at over six feet tall and 220 pounds, I need more caffeine than that.

Everything taken into account, there is nothing about The Coast Guard house that is bad. It's all adequate to excellent. But the wildly varying quality levels and preparation inflict a big hit on the overall experience. I certainly recommend it to anyone in the area, and for the experience, I'd even say it's worth a drive. But only if they can tighten up their kitchen, recipes, preparation, and expand the menu will The Coast Guard House match its atmosphere with its food.

NOTE: The Coast Guard House also has The Deck. The Deck is used exclusively for the summer tourist season and is open-air. It takes up the bulk of the roof and has ample first-come-first-serve seating. It's menu is cheap and is limited to traditional, Rhode Island seafood such as clam cakes and chowder. The food is good, but it's real intention is as an al fresco bar for tourists. The food is decent and cheap, but the drinks are the real money-maker for them and they cost more than in the house proper.

The Coast Guard House: ***
Price range for two: $25-$65

The Coast Guard House
40 Ocean Rd
Narragansett, RI 02882-1397
401-789-0700 (Reservations accepted)

Hours
Brunch: Sunday 10:00am to 2:00pm
Lunch: Monday through Friday 11:30am to 3:00pm
Dinner: Monday through Thursday 5:00pm-10:00pm, Friday and Saturday 5:00pm-11:00pm, Sunday 4pm-10pm

REVIEW: L'Epicureo: *** $$$$

I must admit, I was disappointed at L'Epicureo. Its fame certainly preceded itself, what with the AAA Four-Diamond award. Entering the lobby, the bar area seems well appointed and very classy. I liked the textures and wood used. The whole of the restaurant is well lit but romantic enough. Still, if you want someplace to noozle your loved one, this is not it. The table dress was superb, and service was spot-on.

The classy ambiance was ruined, though, upon entering the dining area. Flowing away in a small enclave is a fountain that I suspect was purchased at Sam's Club for $149.99 and would look more at home in a suburban garden. On the walls are gigantic(!) prints from Italian masters such as Da Vinci and Botticelli. Some may find this interesting or charming. I found it tacky. Those two pimples damage an otherwise well-appointed dining area. The large windows overlooking Westminster Street are especially nice. They give you a wonderful view of the surprisingly eccentric people who roam around Providence.

I got a white bean soup which was luke-warm and serviceable in its taste. My three dinner partners got salads which were... green. For our entrees we received two pork tenderloins on a bed of mashed sweet potatoes, a serving of Carbonara, and slow-roasted Atlantic salmon. The pork was tough and poorly cooked, but was well combined and very tasty with the bed of potatoes. Still, it would have been easy enough to brine the pork instead of merely throwing them on the fire. If it wasn't for the well balanced taste, they would have been unacceptable.

The Carbonara also technically good, but without flair. Still, I guess we should have counted our blessings after the technically abysmal pork. The salmon was also well done, but was nothing more than good salmon. My salmon-loving compatriot didn't even finish it.

For dessert, we ordered the cheesecake for two, two orders of creme brulee, and the chocolate mousse L'Epicureo. Color me impressed by the desserts. The creme brulee had a deep, rich vanilla flavor that was perfectly paired with a crisp biscotti. The sugar on top was paper-thin, though, not delivering the satisfying crunch of breaking through. The mousse was excellent, and the cheesecake was like none other I've had. A deep, powerful cheese flavor.

At first, my mouth rebelled, expecting sweet, but soon I was licking the plate. The only problem was the fried cheesecake, which tasted more like a mozzarella stick. It needed a sweet sauce on top, perhaps caramel or chocolate. I was also the only one at the table to enjoy the cheesecake, so it's obviously not a dessert for everyone. One of my dinner partners expressed a desire to have cheesecake taste of cheesecake and not cream cheese. It's hard to argue with that.

Overall, the portions were decently generous, service was great, and the desserts were fantastic, but the high prices for fair-to-decent food do not a Four Diamond restaurant make. The only aspects of the dinner which were worthy of such a review were the service and the desserts. Everything else was totally, completely, 100% blah.

UPDATE 3/19/2009: This will be old news to most people, but L'Epicureo is no longer. The original chefs/owners have left and started a new eatery, The Troup House, while the old location has morphed into Aspire.

Price range for two: $50-$100

L'Epicureo: ***

No stars - Utterly Abysmal
* - Bad
** - Edible
*** - Average
**** - Very Good
***** - Excellent

http://www.lepicureo.com

Hotel Providence
311 Westminster Street
Providence, RI 02903
401-521-3333 (Reservations recommended)

Hours
Tuesday through Thursday 5:00 to 10:00
Friday and Saturday 5:00 to 11:00
Sunday 4:00 to 9:00

Piano Bar/Lounge Hours
Tuesday through Thursday 4:00 to 11:00 PM
Friday through Sunday 4:00 to 12:00