My Late Powerpoll Ballot

tasteless rape joke?

Quick, it's midnight, lightning round!...

1. LSU - Shaved wildebeests

2. Alabama - Back? October can be tricky

3. Florida - Teabagged

4. Georgia - Spooners

5. Ole Miss - (insert tired Nutt joke here)

6. Vandy - Bye week - yeah, They're below Ole Miss...Rebs/Dores ATL rematch?

7. Kentucky - Badass undefeated? or Norfolk St., Middle Tennessee and Western KY? The later

8. Auburn - Eff Todd

9. South Carolina - Less Smelley, more offensive

10. Tennessee - One more nail in his big fat fatty coffin

11. Mississippi State - A 285 yard offensive explosion! Seriously...major credit, Woody McCorvey, you no-talent-ass-clown

12. Arkansas - Might as well hang em up...The cupboard is bare, right?

SEC Power Poll - Week 4ish

Comments on every SEC team, courtesy of Garnet and Black Attack...

1. Georgia, 247 points (11 first-place votes)

2. Florida, 245 (8)

3. LSU, 232 (3)

4. Alabama, 199.5

5. Auburn, 167.5

6. Vanderbilt, 161

7. Kentucky, 111

8. Mississippi, 100

8. South Carolina, 100

10. Tennessee, 86

11. Mississippi State, 34

12. Arkansas, 33

...and forth.

Georgia and Florida's back-and-forth battle for first place continues. Week 1 brought us first-place Florida. Week 2, first-place Georgia. Week 3, first-place Florida. And this week, two points give the spelling-challenged Dawgs the nod for No. 1. These teams have essentially been deadlocked the whole season, and unless one gets upset, the argument won't be settled until they meet in Jacksonville on Nov. 1. LSU isn't far behind; Alabama has a ton of ground to make up. Auburn and Vanderbilt round out the top half.

Then comes a yawning 50-point gap before Kentucky comes in. By contrast, only 25 points separate the Wildcats in 7th place and the Volunteers in 10th.

And Arkansas has now fallen into possession of the "Worst of the Best" Cup, as Mississippi State's dominated performance against Georgia Tech isn't quite enough to underwhelm Arkansas' self-immolation against Alabama. This race should also go down to the end, as each team looks to one-down the other.

Voters expand upon these thoughts after the jump.

GEORGIA

Still working out some issues with penalties and leaky kickoff coverage, but clearly the most complete team in the league so far this season.--The Dead Guy

For years now I've been asking Santa, "Please bring me a game-breaking receiver for Christmas," and when I got to Tempe ... he finally came.--Hey Jenny Slater

The Dawgs went from posting a minus-37 total yardage deficit at Carolina to a plus-249 surplus at Arizona St. Fair to say Georgia's doing its part in making the SEC look good.--Joe Cribbs Car Wash

FLORIDA

While the defense is markedly better than the 2007 version, there may be some concerns for the offense. The coaches in the SEC are the best in the country and they're developing ways to slow them up.--The Dead Guy

What, precisely, are we to take from Saturday's conquest, though? The first downs were even at 16 apiece; had the Big Orange held the ball for two fewer seconds, the time of possession would have been divided equally between the two combatants; the home team outgained the visitors from Gainesville in total yards (258-243). Three Tennessee turnovers and a 78-yard punt return allowed this one to get altogether out of hand, but how good are the Gators? Considering that they converted over 60 per cent of their third downs against U.T., I'm going to err on the side of saying they're pretty good.--Dawg Sports

The vaunted offense has been coasting through most of the games so far, and UF has won by 46, 23, and 24 points. The defense and special teams have been championship caliber.--Year 2

LSU

Impressive win in Auburn. Maybe Les is smarter than we give him credit for. That onsides kick was brilliant.--Garnet and Black Attack

So much for the lingering effects of the Ryan Perrilloux Xperience. Anyone who thought that the QB situation might be enough to sink LSU this year might want to start exploring other options.--Hey Jenny Slater

If Jarrett Lee's second half on the Plains isn't a fluke, the rest of the West can start heading for the exits. Everything is, infuriatingly, in place.--Joe Cribbs Car Wash

ALABAMA

When, oh when, will SEC teams stop scheduling so many cupcakes? Oh, wait...--Save the Shield

Convincing victory made even more impressive when you factor in the number of freshmen and sophomores Saban is playing.--The Dead Guy

I'm really surprised with the Crimson Tide so far. They are top 15 in all of the key defensive statistics with the exception of third down defense, and they're No. 16 in that.--Rocky Top Talk

AUBURN

They need to figure out this offense. I know they are in a transitional phase, but 1.9 ypc against LSU is awful, I don't care how good LSU might be up front.--Alligator Army

The Tigers fought down to the end against LSU, but couldn't stop the Hat. The defense was strong, and the offense showed signs of life. Auburn is a good team and lost to another good team. No shame.--Gate 21

The Plainsmen clearly have some problems, and not just on offense, as evidenced by the fact that their once-smothering defense allowed an inexperienced sophomore QB to turn into a hero Saturday night.--Hey Jenny Slater

VANDERBILT

Somehow managed to clip Ole Miss despite a less than stellar performance. Are they opportunistic or just lucky? We'll see next week against Auburn.--Save the Shield

4-0. 4-0. No, it's not their GPA, it's their record.--Pelican State Sports

It's like the 'Dores saved up all their luck over the last 20 years just for this season.--Joe Cribbs Car Wash

KENTUCKY

Pass efficiency defense ranked 11th and rush defense ranked 5th. Offense, though, is atrocious, statistically speaking.--Rocky Top Talk

Here's an SAT question for you: "Choose the best answer. The Kentucky Wildcats have not: A. lost to anybody, or B. beaten anybody." Every answer is right, but every answer is also profoundly wrong.--Red Solo Cup

Who knows? Unless they struggle against Western, we figure to have to wait until their trip to Tuscaloosa to know anything.--A Sea of Blue

MISSISSIPPI

Somehow managed to lose to Vandy despite outgaining them by almost 200 yards.--Garnet and Black Attack

For the next several days Jevan Snead will keep waking up in a sweat at 3 am, thinking that Ryan Hamilton just picked off another pass.--Save the Shield

Jevan Snead is teetering on the edge of the abyss that is the Ole Miss Quarterback position A.E. (After Eli)--Deep South Sports

SOUTH CAROLINA

Unimpressive Wofford win, but 'Cocks' two close SEC losses don't look so bad, and the NC State win looks a lot better.--Save the Shield

A 10-point win over Wofford? Isn't Wofford an English soccer team?--Alligator Army

After tuning up with *Wofford*, I suspect that Spurrier continues his prodigious offensive revolution against UAB.--Loser With Socks

TENNESSEE

The Clawfense is befuddling Crompton, leading to a curious lack of production for an offense with lots of good players. If they lose to Auburn this weekend, which they should, they might have to battle to stay out of the East cellar.--Georgia Sports Blog

The Vols' defensive stats are fine. Offensively, they're still struggling, but much of that is probably attributed to productivity-killing mistakes.--Rocky Top Talk

The death march has begun. No more blaming things on assistants. No more rebuilding years. The Vol Navy is in shambles. Knoxville is burning to the ground.--UK Wildcat Country

MISSISSIPPI STATE

MSU's offense has taken a major step backwards this year, which is tough considering how bad it was last year. You've got to think that Woody McCorvey's days in Starkville are coming to an end.--The Dead Guy

Sly continues to croom himself.--Loser With Socks

If you were a child psychologist and asked a six-year-old to draw a picture of "sad," the result would probably look a lot like MSU's offensive playbook.--Hey Jenny Slater

ARKANSAS

Casey Dick impressed me with 190 yds passing, but he threw more passes to the other team than he did to his own. If he keeps throwing 4 picks a game he's going to have to work harder on his tackling.--Gate 21

Hey, at least Casey Dick had 3 Touchdown passes. Two of them were to the opponent, but let'snot get worked up about who we're tossing it to since Arkansas needs something to build from.--Tide Druid

On the bright side, everyone agreed that the halftime show was very nice.--Razorback Expats

My Ballot - SEC Power Poll

typical tebow tugger [credit: dan]

1. LSU	My wife, the Barn-ette, may not like this, but things are gonna get ugly down on the plains this weekend. LSU's beastly shaved apes have grown wary of appetizers.
2. Florida	Bye week last week, but Gates somehow solidified this 2 spot. Look for Urban's boys to dominate UT in all phases once again.
3. UGA	What is the dawg's problem with the Cocks? They looked like ass…ugly, ugly ass. Who knew Tons-of-fun Stafford could move like that?
4. Alabama	Because of turdulent pre-season rankings, most folks think this team has been tested. They haven't, and don't look for that test to come this weekend in Fayettenam.
5. Vanderbilt	The positive surprise of the young SEC season. To go bowling, Vandy must win only 3 of the 6 extremely winnable games left on their schedule (OM, AU, State, Duke, UK, & UT).
6. Auburn	WTF? Really?
7. Ole Miss	Shoulda beat the Samford Bulldogs by 40. Snead was off (2 picks) and that can't happen, even against Vanderbilt. Turnover margin is key to bowl season.
8. Tennessee	UAB effing sucks, but the Vols beat them down quite effectively. BYU so very > UCLA > Tennesse is a polygamistic abomination. Congratulations on your life, Fulmer.
9. Kentucky	The Wildcats just kinda suck this year. And while "kinda suckage" would get you the silver medal in the ACC, you're relegated to the bottom third of SEC (speed, bitches!)
10. Cocks	Jeri needs to start holding out on him til they beat a program with a pulse. Wofford, this weekend, need not apply.
11. Arkansas	Hurricane Ike delayed the debut of "Balls and Ass, Petrino Style" until this weekend, when Alabama eats another cupcake.
12. State	How the hell does this team keep getting on TV week after week? Crooms: The non-narcotic, no risk of dependency sleep-aid.

Think Tiger Pimp Nation, but with a splash of Douche

The Consensus

[see all us bloggers comments on the rankings here]

Week 2: My SEC Power Poll Ballot

"Hey, Coonass!"

1. LSU	Innocent until proven guilty. Why the hell is LSU behind an Ohio State team that struggled mightily with the turdulent Ohio Bobcats?
2. Florida	Team Tebow wins another snoozer. Florida D looks strong to quite strong.
3. UGA	Stafford looked like the second best QB on the field when Central Michigan came to town. Thank gawd for Knowshon and that Defense.
4. Auburn	Todd appears to have settled the QB debate. Kodi Burns crapped the bed. Run D is stout. Look for consistent improvement in the passing game.
5. Ole Miss	My favorite Rebel loss of the last five seasons. However, The Jury just delivered a verdict, and it reads "Jevan Snead is Your Dad." Rebs are too legit to quit.
6. Alabama	Put this on the cover of Sports Illustrated... "YARDS…172 Total vs. effing Tulane, Seriously."
7. Vanderbilt	The Wake Forest of the SEC…except the rest of the conference doesn't suck. When the Dores go bowling this season, Bobby better win SEC coach of the year.
8. Kentucky	Who knew Norfolk state had a football program…Jury's still out on the Cats.
9. Tennessee	Fulmer without Cutcliffe is like "Journey" without that new Asian dude.
10. USC	Who could have guessed this in 2004: Spurrier gets embarrassed by Vandy for the second straight season, while Skip Holtz beats three straight ranked opponents coaching East Carolina.
11. Arkansas	Worst 2-0 Team in D-I. Bobby Petrino is the Steve Kragthorpe of the SEC.
12. State	Big win over the mighty Southeastern Louisiana Lions. Enjoy it, cause it's gonna be a long fall.

[The Home of the SEC Power Poll]

SEC Power Poll - Week 1

Copied from Garnet and Black Attack. I had some technical difficulties posting my ballot this week, but my votes and comments were included in the greater poll. Enjoy yo-self...

Florida

Florida started slow but ended like a freight train with no breaks.--Hotty Toddy Blog

While the Gators' win over Hawaii was a mite less impressive than the final score made it look, UF still looks like the chief challenger for Bulldog supremacy in the Eastern Division, if not the league as a whole.--Dawg Sports

Hawai'i briefly hung around with the Gators, but eventually provided the resistance of warm jello. I'm still not scarred of that defense.--Georgia Sports Blog

Georgia

A win on the field but a loss on the injury front. Georgia depth is being pushed to the limit this year.--Orange and Blue Hue

If Georgia is the #1 team in the country, they should have shut out Georgia Southern. Did they put in the second string defense in the fourth quarter?--Mississippi State Sports Blog

Ignore the 21 points allowed. [Knowshon] Moreno had three TDs on his own. UGA is still the Class of the league.--Alligator Army

LSU

For a team with a Division I-AA Quarterback, their performance was almost flawless.--Tide Druid

Screw the QB controversy, they have more than enough talent at running back alone to hit double digit wins.--Roll Bama Roll

The way LSU handled App State proves they aren't ready to give up the SEC crown yet.--UK Wildcat Country

That lil QB looked solid. These days I really appreciate solid competent QB play.--Loser With Socks

Alabama

Vic Koenning: "Somebody set up us the bomb!" Nick Saban: "All your Escalades are belong to us."--Tide Druid

Imagine what Saban could do with Clemson's talent.--Orange and Blue Hue

[John Parker Wilson] actually played well and Alabma won in a convincing fashion. It was Clemson though, and they always faceplant in these situations. If Bama plays this way every week they could go to Atlanta.--Red Solo Cup

Auburn

Louisiana-Monroe is not a cupcake. A bear-claw, maybe ...--A Sea of Blue

There won't be any billboards along I-20 after this one. The new O needs some work though, as Kodi Burns and Chris Todd both struggled. However, Burns may become the SEC's hot new dual-threat QB.--Red Solo Cup

No shame here. This team could be like the 2006 Gators with a freakish defense and supercharged offense.--Alligator Army

South Carolina

A tale of two halves was the story in Columbia and thank God that it was against NCSU because if it was a real opponent the score could have easily been the other way.--Leftover Hot Dog

That was a boring game Thursday. But if Spurrier has finally found a competent quarterback to match the Gamecocks' defense, the rest of the division needs to watch out.--Hey Jenny Slater

Maybe the OBC should suit up and take the field at QB.--A Sea of Blue

Mississippi

Welcome back to relevance Rebels.--The Dead Guy

Memphis is not very good, but Ole Miss showed some real promise. The Wild Rebel formation, about the only thing Houston Nutt took away from his year with Gus Malzahn, was a smashing success. All that talk about Ed Orgeron stocking cupboards in Oxford was true, and if Nutt can harness it into something cohesive for a season, the Rebels will finish comfortably ahead of Arkansas and their in-state rival.--Year 2

Nutt has found a solid quarterback in Jevan Snead. If they can beat Wake this weekend, the SEC West all of a sudden becomes very interesting.--Georgia Sports Blog

Tennessee

Defense was outstanding until the last 2 series. Offense looked like a goat chained to the tracks staring at the locomotive coming straight at it. Yikes!--Gate 21

Dead Fat Man Walking.--Deep South Sports

Beginning of the Neuheisel Era. Beginning of the end of the Fulmer Era?--Save the Shield

Kentucky

Solid win for 'Cats in post-Woodson era.--Pelican State Sports

I'm not sure I'm ready to live in a world where Kentucky has an above-average defense. I'm just not.--Joe Cribbs Car Wash

The Wildcats appeared, at best, only intermittently other than awful against an opponent that looked utterly horrible in a contest confirming Louisville's complete fall off of the college football map. The final score is a testament not to U.K.'s competence but to U. of L.'s absolute lack thereof.--Dawg Sports

Vanderbilt

Looked better than expected against Miami (OH). Lots of questions remain, though. This week will be a good test.--Garnet and Black Attack

I think that at the end of the season, Vandy destroys my beloved vols.--Loser With Socks

Arkansas

Thank God for Mississippi (State).--Razorback Expats

Good news for the Hogs: at least they won. More good news: Bobby Petrino didn't quit at halftime to take a high school job.--Save the Shield

Arkansas outgained WIU 394-262, committed just four penalties, went 7-11 on third downs, and yet was still down by 10 points in the fourth quarter. That's some special kind of voodoo right there. Three turnovers, a reported six or so drops by receivers, and a 13:23 deficit in time of possession are troubling. This could be a long, long year in Fayetteville.--Year 2

Mississippi State

For shame.--The Auburner

Maybe in '09 State can just start the season with an automatic 0-1 record and skip the actual playing of the game? Seems like they'd avoid some embarrassment that way.--Joe Cribbs Car Wash

SEC Coaches Power Poll

shots on Shelley Meyer...no, not literally, dirtbag

As part of Garnet and Black Attack's 2nd annual SEC POWER POLL, we, the members, will obviously be completely unbiasedly ranking the SEC teams 1-12 this season. HOWEVER, to start this thing off right, "cocknfire" has asked us, his colleagues, to rank the coaches from 1 thru 12. It's a Herculean task, but eff it. I've got spare time.


SEC FOOTBALL COACHES

1. Urban Meyer - The compete package. He's so good it's scary. Recruiting, gameplanning, improv, motivation, media savvy. If only I could get his sissified crying out of my head.

2. Mark Richt - Had to learn on the job, but it's finally coming together for him. Richt's in his prime. The kind of coach you wouldn't mind taking home to Momma, if you're into that sort of thing. About as polished and poised as they come.

3. Tommy Tuberville - Big Game Badass. Squeezes the most out of his players. Wins with a smart defense, but historically has trouble developing the passing game (obviously, set to change in '08) Prone to occasional game-long mental-farts (see: '08 UGA, South Florida, or MSU)

4. Steve Spurrier - Still a great football mind, just not playing with the stacked deck he inherited at UF in the 90's. Appears to loathe all aspects of CFB other than play-calling the offense. Gamecock experiment growing old? Didn't vote for Duke for the first time this season because he apparently hates David Cutcliffe.

5. Les Miles - Hate to say it, but this guy just wins football games. Can't too much argue with that. He may very well be a prickly dumb prick, just with Gump-like luck, but he's certainly doing something right. I know, he's got more talent than Marisa Miller, but still. That'll only get you so far. Even back at OK State he was doing big things with far less.

6. Nick Saban - If this were "most powerful" or "best recruiter" or even "inverse height-to-ego ratio" Saban would be numero uno. However, Nick's overall coaching leaves tons to be desired. In fact, his recruiting is pretty much the only good thing I can say about him. Discipline? In Game skills? Motivation? He's not exactly lighting the world on fire when it comes to actual football between the hedges in T-town. (to borrow one of his favorite preachy words) At least not relative to expectations.

7. Houston Nutt - Now here's the polar opposite of Nick Saban. A man of the people...loves the media, loves his coaches and his players. Even loves to motivate...except he couldn't give two shits about recruiting. He's very comparable to Tuberville in this regard. Consummate winner of the "does more with less" award. Great football mind and surrounds himself with quality assistants. Never gonna ascend these rankings until he starts to take it all a little more serious.

8. Phillip Fulmer - Has-been. Football is passing Phil by. Has the keys to one of the SEC's proudest programs yet he continues to fart around and crap the bed. Tons of talent, but little leadership. Consistent winner of the "does less with more" award. How many more seasons will a 10-year-old Championship buy you on Rocky Top?

9. Bobby Petrino - His record says a lot, but that's little league, Big East stuff. Give me a season against big boy defenses (SEC speed, bitch) before I move him anywhere up this list.

10. Rich Brooks - What can I say, Kentucky's no joke anymore. When you take a perennial laughingstock and in due time develop a team that takes out the eventual national champions on the road. That's effing saying something. But Rich has yet to move the Wildcats past the Music City Bowl.

11. Bobby Johnson - Look, he's obviously a pretty good coach, and going to a bowl with Vandy is the equivalent of winning the National title with LSU, but every time he gets a legitimate chance at, well legitimacy, his team craps itself. Sure, go beat Georgia, Tennessee and Ole Miss...then lose to Middle Tennessee. Can't give you too much credit Bob.

12. Sly Crooms - received every lucky break a coach could get last year to finish 8-5 (read: State won every close game) Don't expect that to happen two years in a row. Yeah, time for Croom to get Munsoned a time or two. Oh yeah, State has yet to field an offense under this former NFL offensive coordinator.

SEC Power Poll - Week 9ish

To read more underappreciated commentary on your favorite team just click here (Power Poll by Garnet and Black Attack)



Just imagine that this cheerleader is Tim Tebow's Feelings (HT: awful announcing)

Erik's SEC Power Poll Ballot

Tebow wept when he saw this must have bumper sticker


1. LSU - The only consistently high quality team in this FUBAR conference.

2. Auburn - Offense is still a little pussified with Cox at the helm, but the the defense is outstanding. I'm not yet sold on the genius that is Will "M. Effing" Muschamp, but I will say that he has earned his effing pay this season.

3. Georgia - I was wrong about dem Dawgs. That's right, I said it. They are a perfect example of this ass backwards league. Dawgs get up for the big game, but only beat Vandy by a field goal? I'll say that UGA's final tally certainly got some Auburn fan's attention. Way to get that rabid gorilla off your back, Richt.

4. Arkansas - Nutt's boys haven't beat anybody with a pulse, however the Hawgs could easily win the next three over UT, USC and MSU. Does 8-4 save Nutt? Doubt it. "Does Erik know something that we don't about Arkansas?" Yes.

5. Alabama - What happens when you take the most talented team in the country at damn near every position and give them a crazy-assed, huge-headed coach and a legitimate reason to hate you? You get some VIOLENCE Going down in T-town! This weekend, will we see the Bama team that lost to Florida State or the Bama team that owned Tennessee? I'm pretty sure I know what Bengal Tiger team we're going to see.

6. Florida - Urban's boys look downright human. Has Yahweh forsaken Tebow? Did all those ungodly Florida funbags finally cause Tim to sin? The Gates Defense seems like a unit that lost damn near every starter from 2006. As they should.

7. Vanderbilt - What the hell do we know about Vandy? Um...They're pretty good I guess. You could easily interchange any team from 3 to 10 on the ranking without raising any eyebrows. If you didn't know any better, you might say "Holy Crap. Vandy is 1 win away from a bowl eligibility!?!" On the not so bright side, 3 of those last 4 teams are ranked and the other is Kentucky (UT, UF and Wake). Ouch.

8. Tennessee - The SEC East insanity cycle is complete. UF murders UT, UT bloodies UGA, and UGA shocks UF. FUBARific.

9. South Carolina - "Mr Fulmer, would you like to donate to the 'Thank you Ryan Succop for missing that relatively painless overtime Field Goal and therefore allowing for me to retain my position as Head Football Coach at the University of Tennesee along with my all expense paid membership to the Jelly Donut of the Week Club Fund?' Ok...Will you be giving one million or two?"

10. Mississippi State - Getting "Croomed" starts to lose its meaning when Coach Crooms is on the verge of a bowl season. I hear Shreveport smells beautifully in mid. December.

11. Kentucky - Losing to Mississippi State by 17 kinda puts a damper on your Heisman Campaign (as does 3 INTs).

12. Ole Miss - Brent Schaeffer comes off the bench in Jonathan Moxon-esque fashion to lead the Rebs down the field in the second half for the tying score!?! Not quite... Schaeffer moves the ball brilliantly for sixty yards only to throw a boneheaded m. effin' pick in the endzone. Haha! Touchback. Auburn touchdown. Game over: 17 - 3. Status Quo. Moral Victory??? You're damn right. Auburn didn't cover the spread did they, a-hole?


CONFIDENCE: When You've Got It, It Shows (photocredit: James Bryant)

SEC Power Poll - Week 8

Click here for more on the Power Poll from Garnet and Black Attack


Erik's Ballot:

1. LSU - Les Miles is 2 for 3 in the idiot savant coaching department. "So dumb it's brilliant" play calls have become Miles' M.O. this season, and he will either live by it (Florida, Auburn) or die by it (Kentucky). I just hope he doesn't take the still title-contending Tigers down with him.

2. Florida - Kept the SEC East pillow fight interesting. UF is still the best team in the east, as the Gates haven't lost to a divisional foe since November 2005.

3. Auburn - Heartbreaking loss, but it proved what many were starting to realize. Auburn is still top tier.

4. Arkansas - Looked like the Hawgs of better times. 2006. Before all hell broke loose. Could Houston save his job yet?

5. Kentucky - I told a friend in The Grove who doubted Kentucky's offense that Ole Miss and Seth Adams threw for 300 against Florida and Woodson will throw for 400. Well, he threw for 415 and 5 TDs, but he still lost because he can't play both sides of the ball, and there's this small matter of Tim M. Effin' Tebow.

6. Alabama - Sarah Jessica Parker Wilson is the man again, and the Tide upset the turdulent Vols. Is this Saban's "signature win?" (what a homo bama term)

7. Vanderbilt - Has to be the biggest Commodore win since Prohibition. I can't imagine what it must feel like...maybe like a 40-year-old virgin finally taking one to the house? Sorry, Spurrier.

8. South Carolina - My, how the pseudo-mighty have fallen. Did anyone really believe The Cocks deserved #6 anyway? Too many questions. Perfect example of the insanity that is the 2007 season.

9. Tennessee - Jekyll and Hyde. What the hell happened in the second half? Nice job giving the Tiders something to crow about.

10. Georgia - This team deserves to be in the top 25 about as much as I deserve a Pulitzer.

11. Mississippi State - They've been suckin' balls for most of the season, but hey...They beat Auburn. Apparently, if Sly Croom can beat one legit program every year...and remain black, he'll be the head coach at State for many years to come.

12. Ole Miss - Colonel Reb isn't crying anymore. He and Capitan Morgan are back in The Grove "scopin' tail" and attempting to drink away the Ed Orgeron era.


The Kige Party moves to Lexington - Thanks to Tim, via KentuckySportsRadio

• More great Lexington Gameday Signs

SEC Power Poll - Week 6

Click here for the full story with commentary from the voters. Thanks again to Brandon from Garnet and Black Attack for administering this poll.

Erik's SEC Power Poll Ballot

1) LSU - Not even the chosen one could stop them! No, these Orcs are born of earth and fire and they feed mercilessly on the sorrows of Southern Cal. Resistance is futile.

2) Florida - Still a complete team...Maybe they just needed a good cry. Do Tebow's tears still cure cancer after two consecutive losses?

3) Auburn - The other Tigers have found their offense. Don't care who you're playing, if you go into half up 28-0, you're doing things the right way.

4) South Carolina - Cocks have the second best record in my top four, but they haven't beat any of the above teams, and they certainly didn't play as well as Florida did down in Red Stick.

5) Kentucky - Woodson looked not good vs. USC last Thursday. Me thinks it was the rain. Even so, the Wildcats dropped a messy deuce for all the college football world to see. It's gonna stink for a few weeks. (ask: Auburn)

6) Tennessee - Where the hell did this come from? The Vols pulled some defense out of their asses and went into the break up 28-0? Could Coach "Does less with more" be turning a corner?

7) Arkansas - 0-2 in the SEC. Lots of Hawgs fans wanna Get Rid of dat, dat...dat Nutt. They're even making signs.

8) Georgia - Why does Georgia always seem to underachieve? Maybe they've got better years ahead with Stafford, but they just always seem to lose a game they shouldn't. Just can't seem to put all the pieces together and play like the top 5 team that their talent suggests. Could it be coaching?!? [/blasphemy]

9) Alabama - Didn't get to watch this Homecoming game with Houston, but from what I've heard, If you put another minute on the clock, Houston spoils the post game trip to the Bear Bryant Museum.

10) Mississippi State - 4 wins. If you stopped the season today, this is already MSU's most successful campaign since Y2K. To bad their's no more cupcakes to snack on. Bulldogs play three straight ranked teams starting this weekend with the newly impressive, but still fairly suspect Vols.

11) Vanderbilt - Got spanked by Auburn. It's looking like another 4 win season in Nashville. Let's face it...If you can't get to the promise land (Shreveport) with Jay Cutler, well...Chris Nickson is certainly no Tee Martin.

12) Ole Miss - The Rebs will remain in this prestigious spot until Orgeron defeats someone with a pulse. By pulse, I mean a team who's sniffed a bowl game in the last decade. The Rebs shutout the Mighty Louisianna Tech Bulldogs...24-0, but it was most likely the ugliest 20 point shutout on record. Rebs threw three picks and La Tech won pretty much ever statistical catagory, other than score of course.


HT: edsbs

SEC Power Poll - Erik's Late Ballot - Week 4

The Moral Victory Madman - photocredit: James Bryant, Rebelsports.net

1) LSU - Defense wins championships. As do awesomely executed fake field goals on third down. Les Miles is pure, unadulterated evil.

2) Florida - Exposed! Tebow won't be able to run like that (177 some odd yards) on a LSU's Defensive line. They're going to have to figure something else out. Young team let the road crowd shake 'em. Still can't move 'em down though.

3) Kentucky - The Drop off may not be as large as I thought. Kentucky plays the Gates in Lexington and the upset is not so hard to comprehend these days. Lots of folks gave me shat about putting The Fighting Woodson's this high, but who else you gonna put here?

4) Georgia - Let the mediocrity begin! Exciting win in T-town, but the dawgs should have put the inept Sabanites away in the second half.

5) South Carolina - The cocks have offensive problems (Smelley? Mitchell?). But who doesn't against LSU? They are in this spot on the virtue of an above average redzone D. However, they just lost their best linebacker for the season (Jasper Brinkley).

6) Arkansas - Dick sucks balls. He is killing this team. This game was close throughout, but it came down to turnovers

7) Alabama - Offense didn't look so hot against a legit Georgia D. Sarah Jessica Parker is taking a verbal beating in these parts. Seems that he played ahellufa lot better last season. You think Shula would come back as a quarterbacks coach?

8) Tennessee - Beat Arkansas State pretty handily, which is more than I can say for the other UT. Even so, the Volunteer nation is ready to string up Fat Phil with a tow-strap (you know, for all that fattiness) Who do you replace him with though? Could UT lure Rich and Rita Rod. the short distance to K-ville?

9) Vanderbilt - The Dores are coming off a bye week to prepare for...Eastern Michigan? Vandy is pretty good, but they really lose points in the out of conference scheduling department. I guess when you'll do just about anything to taste bowl season you schedule the likes of Richmond, Miami of Ohio, the aforementioned directional Michigan and "15 minutes of Fame" Wake Forrest.

10) Mississippi State - Don't look now, but State is one win away from their most successful season since Y2K. That's right, I said it! Crooms is a badass mofo.

11) Auburn - Finally some effin' offense. Lucky for Tubs he gets to go to Gainesville this weekend. Ouch. Phil, how'd that work out for you and your career?

12) Ole Miss - Moral Victories! Kinda like how every college girl in America would give their left ovary to get with Tim Tebow, but ...He likes dudes! Maybe that's more "Ironic." Maybe it's just that Tim Tebow's mere existence pisses me off. Damn you, Tebow!



Your moment of unrelated Zen - and the response

SEC Power Poll - Erik's Ballot - Week 3

UF - Class of the East

1) LSU - Like a well oiled machine. Tops in all three phases.

2) Florida - Much like LSU, but with a young, sub-elite defense. Impressive win over the Vols. I would dare say that the offense is more effective this season in the post-leak era.

3) Kentucky - Large drop-off at this point, but Kentucky is a very dangerous team. Crazy I know. They remind me of the Eli led Ole Miss team that went 7-1 in the SEC in 2003 on the power of a deadly offense. Best QB in the league with a defense that is good enough to keep the Wildcats alive in a shootout. Great win over slightly overrated yet top 10 Louisville. (Kige's take on his team's big win)

4) Arkansas - How do I rate Arkansas here after a loss? It's a power poll. (If the Colts had lost a close one in week two of the NFL, do you drop them to the bottom half?) It's still "who's the best team,"regardless. I'm still a believer after a three point loss, with a slow start in a hostile environment. Never doubt Darren McFadden.

5) South Carolina - Didn't find out much about The Cocks this week. Solid, but need to show some real Spurrier-worthy offense and run-it-up on somebody.

6) Alabama - Strong offense. Suspect defensive front 7. Not much has changed here. The defense looked even more suspect this past week against the best rushing threats in CFB.

7) Tennessee - My buddy David wanted me to make sure, no matter what, to mention the super stud that is true-frosh, DB Eric Berry. (newsflash) Eric Berry is Fantastic. If Darren McFadden was a defensive back, he would be Eric Berry (good enough?) He even made the almighty Tim Tebow look foolish on an interception return for a TD. Despite the awesomeness of Eric Berry, The Vol defense put up about as much of a fight as one of Bret Michaels' groupie-skanks on "Rock of Love."

8) Georgia - Wow, how bout Troy taking Okie State behind the woodshed too. Kinda takes some of the shine off Georgia's big victory doesn't it? Kinda like when your fat, sloppy, ass-faced buddy starts talking about his "mediocre at best" hookup with one of your top conquests.

9) Vanderbilt - I may have them ranked a little low on the poll, but on any given Saturday these Dores could beat any team south of # 2. Defense is pretty weak, but if the Commies get a few breaks/turnovers they can really hurt you. Unfortunately, Vandy is usually the team doing the breaking/turning-over. Any SEC win by two touchdowns is a good win.

10) Mississippi State - They're going to have to win games on defense like they did against Auburn. Henig lasted 3 games this season (broken hand or wrist or something) which is a record for the wee bulldog QB (Seriously, that's him on the right). Anyway, who's next in line to get "Croomed?"

11) Auburn - This team is just broken. It can be fixed this season, but it's gonna take some time (read: losses) If the fans can stay off Tuberville's back, he can turn it around. The Iron bowl is all that matters at this point.

12) Ole Miss - I've always tried to give Orgeron the benefit of the doubt (supposed Cutcliffe induced talent deficit), but I got to see things first hand this weekend up in Nashville and it's damn UGLY. Worst offensive play calling I've ever seen courtesy of Dan Werner, and the Defense...The Defense couldn't cover "Jesse's Girl."

Thanks as always to Brandon at Garnet & Black Attack for sponsoring the SEC Power Poll and keeping us all on task.

Various Other Sundries

LSU is taking care of business...in the front

The Link Dump

- Garnet And Black Attack puts together The Week 2 SEC Power Poll. It's unanimous...LSU is the ass handing, chest thumping, wife stealing Bill Brasky of College Football. At least until next Saturday (who wants to bet LSU doesn't allow MTSU 45 points this weekend?)

- The LA Times kicks off the BCS drama extra early this season with mention of a USC, LSU and Oklahoma hate triangle.

- Some elderly A-hole crashed his mini-van into the goalpost during a high school football game in Wisconsin over the weekend. This just reinforces my belief that driving tests should be given to seniors starting with their 80th birthday. How many football games have to ruined?

- Kentucky Fans Rejoice! The Round Mound Of Touchdown, The Battle Ship Lorenzen, J-Load, The Pillsbury Throwboy, The Hefty Lefty (AKA Jared Lorenzen) should...if not for some unforeseen disaster (like complications from Gastric Bypass) be starting his first NFL game next week for the New York Giants.

- On the flip side, Ole Miss alum Eli Manning is going to miss the first start(s) of his career. Eli's out for at least a month with a "slightly separated shoulder." He is seeking a second opinion from Uber-Ortho, James Andrews here in The Ham. This really blows, cause Eli looked great in the opener. I was looking forward to Eli shutting up all those critical yankee a-holes. I guess that's an impossible feat though (they hate freakin' A-Rod).

- More Kige, anyone? Reader, Blake sends me a link to what is undoubtedly Kige's best non-sports related take to date. (wish he would delve into pop culture more often) As you can tell from Kige's lifestyle, he is so over the Hollywood scene and people like Nichole Richie.

SEC Power Poll - Erik's Ballot - Week 2

1) LSU - I think we all knew Va Tech was not a top 10 team, but LSU made them look like Tennessee Tech. LSU is damn near a lock to win the West.

2) Florida - Great offense (49 points in the first half) but the defense allowed Troy to put up 30?!? Most of it was garbage time. None the less, it's unacceptable.

3) Arkansas - They win this spot by default. They didn't lose this past weekend. They didn't even play. Congrats.

4) South Carolina - I know it sounds crazy, but who else do you put up here? Spurrier's voodoo worked on Richt and his Dawgs. The Cocks didn't look overly impressive but they won a tough SEC road game.

5) Tennessee - This Vol team is just kinda uninspired. Ainge is playing well, the backs are running well. The defense is just average. There just seems to be something missing. The jury is still out on this team.

6) Kentucky - This offense is the read deal Holyfield. The D sucks. That could cause some issues vs. Louisville, but newsflash: The 'Ville's Defense sucks too. Look for Andre' 3000 & Co. to pull the upset this weekend at home in Lexington.

7) Alabama - Saban still hasn't played anyone of note, and his team really hasn't looked too convincing doing it. Even so, the Tide is 2 - 0. They earn this position by default. Sara Jessica Parker Wilson rolled up an amazing 150 yards passing against the highly respected Vandy defense.

8) Georgia - After making us all believe in week one, UGA lays a stinky turd with a four field-goal loss against The Cocks. Who knew? Spurrier said it best when he said, “They’ve actually lost five in a row to Eastern Division opponents. Kentucky and Vandy beat ‘em last year.” Ouch, Head Ball Coach. Very ouch.

9) Auburn - Phil Steele is laughing all the way to the bank. Preseason, he ranked the Tigers just outside of the Top 40 (# 41) and he earned the ire of the Plainsman nation. Well, it looks like Auburn should live up to expectations.

10) Ole Miss - The Ole Miss defense gets lit up by the spread offense. In other news, Germans land on the moon. Even so, Ole Miss had it's best offensive performance since the Eli era (300 yards passing, 230 yard rushing). Vandy is favored by 5 in Nashville for some reason, but the Rebs will be victorious straight up.

11) Vanderbilt - The Commies looked pretty damn anemic against the Tide, plus the refs might as well have been slobbing Saban's knob. Pretty much every big play or touchdown for Vandy was called back because of phantom penalties. Otherwise, Vandy just played like Vandy. Which is not a good thing, mind you.

12) Mississippi State - Credit for beating Tulane this season. Major credit to Michael Hening for keeping both collar bones intact for two consecutive games.


Sorry ladies. Tebow has but one mistress, and her name is Football

Erik's SEC Power Poll Ballot

Almost Forgot


totally unrelated but strangely hilarious

1) Florida - Class of the east again. Will beat UGA in Jax per usual

2) Georgia - Almost as good as UF but can't win in Jax

3) LSU - Yet to show too much on offense. Biggest Dips**t coach in D-I football.

4) Auburn - This is where it gets difficult. Auburn looked pretty crappy, but they've got a great Defense, and they found a way to win. Offense needs major work. O-line is a joke.

5) Tennessee - Yes, they lost to a good Cal team, but their receivers are green as hell. When they get on the same page, look out.

6) Alabama - Strong offense, suspect Defense. Especially along the front.

7) Kentucky - Strong offense. Average defense. Look for the Cats to upset Louisville this weekend. They've got what it takes.

8) South Carolina - Blake Mitchell was suspended, hard to tell, but they struggled with UL-LAF.

9) Arkansas - Struggled with Troy first half. Blew them out in the second. Run game still strong. Surprise.

10) Ole Miss - Played out of their minds first half. Played not to lose second half. Jury's still out on which is the real Ole Miss. Way too many fumbles killed the offense. Seth Adams is actually pretty solid.

11) Vandy - Struggled with Richmond for the first half. Blew it open in the second. Very talented, but prone to mistakes. Suffer from a lack of SEC Depth.

12) Mississippi State - I don't think anyone with argue with me here. Blow it up and start over. Hire an experienced, winning HC from the lower levels.

Introducing THE SEC POWER POLL

This Poll is now the ultimate power in the universe. (hosted by Brandon at Garnet and Black Attack) A collection of twenty something of the finest willingest bloggers this side of the Mason-Dixon line...The SEC Power Poll. A shiny beacon of hope in the otherwise socio-economically depressed land of Dixie. Where fried is a lifestyle, and football is king.

The CalorieLab United States of Obesity Fattest States Ranking 2007

By the way, here's another power poll where the SEC is the Kang. 7 out of the top 8? Hell Yes! S-E-C...S-E-C... Grill me up a double batch of Conecuh and pass the Imodium.

2006 Rank	2007 Rank	State	% Obese 2006	% Obese or Overweight 2006	3-year Obesity Average	% Obesity Change	Ranking Change
1	1	Mississippi	31.4	66.7	30.6	1.1	0
3	2	West Virginia	31.0	67.0	29.7	1.1	1
2	3	Alabama	30.5	65.0	29.4	0.7	-1
4	4	Louisiana	27.1	63.0	28.3	0.8	0
9	5	South Carolina	29.4	65.4	27.9	1.6	4
6	6	Tennessee	28.8	65.3	27.8	1.3	0
5	7	Kentucky	28.0	66.4	27.5	0.8	-2
7	8	Arkansas	26.9	63.8	27.0	0.6	-1

Let's go Rebs!