Best Gata Ever?

Ask and ye shall receive. Thanks to MH (another cocktail party attending UGA fan) we are introduced to this veritable "Ripley's Believe It or Not" Gator who was allegedly tailgating nearby. No, to our limited knowledge, this Floridian does not have a third nipple, eleven fingers or elephantitis of the scotestical region...Quite the contrary. He's apparently just your average Joe, committed to being the best Gator stereotype he can be.

Because as I'm sure this fine specimin would tell you, "If you gonna do some sh*t, do it ALL THA WAY, brah."



As reader MH was quick to point out, this Gata really brings his "A Game":

"Mullet (bonus points for shaved sides of head)
Gold teeth
Gold chain
Camo hat
Jersey
Jean shorts
Copious tattoos
Unlaced patent leather Nikes with no socks

GO DAWGS!"

Wow. There's a Friskies joke here somewhere. If you can top the above image (or even if you can't), please spread the love.

Gator Fans of The Week?

Just in time for Halloween, reader FBZ in Savannah (UGA fan) adds insult to Florida injury with these loathsome, and deeply disturbing gator gameday pics. I have to give the Gates credit though. These handy-tards are on par with anything Bama, LSU or Tennessee has to offer. Well played.




I'm speechless. Wait, no...no I'm not. This "Uncle Rico" embodies every stereotype in the white-trash playbook. From his ripped stone-washed jeans (possible jortage??) to his strawberry-blond, grown-man mullet. From his red neck to his gold chain. From his unfounded cockiness to his unfortunate facial hair. If in the above picture he's not yelling "WOOOOOOOOO!!! GATORS RULE YOUR ASS, MOTHER EFFERS!" then something is terribly, terribly wrong.




This must be the Cooper Manning of the Tebow family. Gotta love the reactions. Even the lady on the jumbtron is disgusted. Notice our previously featured "Mulletude Man of the Year" in the bottom left corner who appears to be lecturing Tons-of-Fun on classy fan behavior.




"The Thinker?"...More Like "The Stinker." Is this Gator serious? Is that a Halloween costume/wig? I was under the assumption that the infamous "Rat-tail" had gone the way of "The Shula" in the lower 48. I stand disgusted.




And Finally, because FBZ was kind enough to submit these pics, we have posted a little something for the Bulldog spank bank. Enjoy yo-self, and send more pics.

Double Dose of Morning Youtubery

Matt Ryan for Heisman???


Are we this desperate to prop up a Heisman candidate? Darren McFadden wouldn't blow chunks on national TV


Crank dat Georja Boy




Richt's runnin' a tight ship over there in Athens. I've never seen a team kick-off standing in their own endzone before, but eff' me, it worked. Georiga takes a page from the Miami/FSU playbook and thugged out for the big victory.

"Ahhh...The penalty will be assessed on the kickoff and is of the double, 15 yard variety... on the Offense... um...Georiga is charged with... Excessive 'Supermanning of Hoes'...Followed by 'Actions characteristic of a Soulja Boy'... May God have mercy on us all."

Quote of the Weekend...Really

Overheard in the North endzone of Bryant-Denny after Georgia's Brandon Coutu missed the tie-breaking field goal at the end of regulation:

"It's like the breath of The Bear blew down from Heaven to push it wide!"


Who says Coach Bryant ever made it to heaven? Even so, Coutu did say in the post-game press conference that he distinctly smelled "a mixture of Gin and Listerine" after the kick.

A tip of the hat to Daniel for the quote.

The Mind of the Bama Fan

Why Did Coach Saban Allow Alabama To Lose?

Our small human brains may not always comprehend Saban's mysterious ways, but we must keep the faith. All things happen for a reason. Even Bama losses, and I know Saban won't give us a non-victory that's too big for the Tider nation to handle. I'm of the belief that this "temporary setback" was a test...Saban gave us a test to see if we were worthy enough to follow him.

Can we resist doubt and temptation? In these difficult days ahead, can we keep from attempting to murder our children...or stabbing hateful Barners? Can we conduct ourselves with typical Bama class and show CNS that we are 200% behind him no matter how many temporary setbacks he tests us with. Never forget, you can still technically win the Thirteenth with one loss. Especially if you are a nationally respected program like Bama.

In this video, you'll see some images of Tiders who have lost the faith. Tiders who look like they just discovered that Santa Claus is just some old drunk with chronic halitosis. Learn from their misguided pain. It's still "Two Thousand and Saban." Nobody can take that away from us...




Does Daniel Moore do UGA prints? - "Saban Allows UGA Victory"

SEC Roundtable

"who's that guy?"

Thanks to David at From the Hedges we now have the beta version of "SEC Roundtable." Hopefully a semi-weekly feature. (I don't do consistancy very well) Since David brought up several extremely thought provoking questions, I though I might just take a stab at them. Hopefully I'll be just slightly more successful than Miss Teen South Carolina.


If you could have any player back from graduation last year who would it be?

Hmmm...That's a tough one for Ole Miss. Yeah, about that...I'm gonna go with the top linebacker taken in the draft, The 49ers 11th overall pick Patrick effin' Willis. #49 was not only the best player on Ole Miss' team, but he was the best defensive player in the country. Willis was a nightmare for offensive coordinators and one of the few enjoyable things about the Rebs 4-8 season. With a more veteran supporting cast in 2007, Willis' 4.38 speed and 250 pound frame would have made the Rebel defense a major force to be reckoned with. Nope, instead the Rebs got three green linebackers with about 7 career tackles between them. Sweet!


Who's the most underrated/overrated team in the SEC? Why?

Underrated - Kentucky: The Cats have the best quarterback in the nation that nobody's ever heard of in Andre' Woodson. They were also an 8 win team in '06, which is an amazing feat for Kentucky. Nobody is giving them any credit, but they will upset a big boy this season. I'm thinking Louisville or Tennessee.

Overrated - Arkansas: The Hawgs are one or two injuries away from a horrible season. With Nutt's personal life impoding like it is, everything must fall perfectly for this team to be Top 25. Yes, they won the West last season (10 wins), but they also ended the year on a three game slide, lost their OC, Quarterback and a huge amount of fan support.


Take your team's biggest rival's head coach and make a case as to why he would be a good fit on your sideline

Mississippi State - Sly Croom: I'm sorry, I can't think of anything positive to say about what he's done at State. I guess he would help Ole Miss in the race relations department, until all those rich old white men had to up and fire his ass.

LSU - Les Miles: Why would Les Miles be a good fit? Well, Les Miles brings a lot of great things to a program...unfounded arrogance, tasteless smack-talk, a potty mouth, a huge forehead and a sub-par IQ.


Other than your team who do you want to win the National Title?

Vanderbilt : Wouldn't it be great? It would shake the foundations of the space/time continuum. Everybody would start hating Vandy and Bobby Johnson would get offered crappy NFL jobs. I think the Dores would be forced to expand stadium capacity upwards of 30k.


Predictions w/ scores:

Kansas State v. Auburn - Tigers 32 - Wildcats 28
Oklahoma State v. Georgia - UGA 24 - OSU 10
Tennessee v. California - Vols 36 - Homos 20

Mark Richt Makes A-hole Comments

Related News: Georgia Head Coach Loses W.W.J.D. Bracelet

The normally reserved and composed Georgia head football coach, Mark Richt made doves cry this weekend with his sarcastic asshole comments concerning UGA's lack of an indoor practice facility...

Richt was particularly annoyed this past Friday after a late-afternoon thunderstorm first delayed, then cancelled, the team's practice. To make it up, the Bulldogs had practice twice on Saturday, once in the morning and once late in the evening. That meant many coaches and players had to change Saturday evening plans, including cornerback Remarcus Brown, who was supposed to be in a wedding.

"It's just a royal pain to have to deal with this kind of stuff," Richt said on Friday. "It would be nice to have a little indoor facility nearby where you wouldn't have to spend your whole life trying to figure out a new plan. It's very frustrating, it gets very old and I'm about tired of it.

"Maybe one day we'll get that done."

Richt was then asked if not getting an indoor facility would be something over which he'd leave.

"They'd probably say 'good riddance,'" he said sarcastically. "I'm not going to threaten anybody."

I don't know what to do or think about this. Mark Richt has always been like a second father to me. An omnipotent, lilly-white second father. If there was one thing I was sure of in this crazy, mixed up world it was that Mark Richt was an Angel sent from heaven to show us how good and pure college football can be. Now...now I'm just lost. A castaway set adrift on my personal sea of sorrows.

Then...Then Richt issues a formal statement/apology. Sorry, Mark. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube, you Judas.

"Friday's comments regarding the lack of an indoor practice facility were a knee-jerk reaction to a series of events that happened throughout the day ending with the cancellation of practice due to a storm in the area," Richt said in the statement.

"When I actually read my comments late in the day on Saturday I was very disappointed in what I said and the way I said it. It appeared to be someone who was ungrateful for what he had and that is certainly not the case. For that, I want to apologize to President [Michael] Adams, [athletics director] Damon Evans, and the Bulldog Nation."

Stuff your sorries in a sack, a-hole.



Link: AJC - Chip Towers

The Smartest Coaches in the SEC

#5 - Nick Saban - (Hat Tip - TIGERWALK)

Smarts ain't everything…In fact, you can go a long way without ‘em (see Dave Rowe), but they sure do help…Especially when your every move, action and word is dissected, analyzed and criticized by thousands of semi-high functioning and relatively powerful folks (the college fan) . Therefore, I put together my list of the Smartest Coaches in the SEC: Who is the best game-planner?...Who gets the most out of his talent?…Who surrounds themselves with the best and the brightest assistants?...Who knows when to hold their tongue and when to launch a well placed verbal assault.

All these factors ultimately translate into points on the scoreboard. When searching for the perfect coach, smarts can’t be ignored.

1. Steve Spurrier - South Carolina: Totally not dumb. Be it on the field, off the field or in a press conference, Spurrier is sharp as a tack. Never showing signs of weakness, he is revered for his innovative football mind and his scathing, smartass remarks. Especially when it comes to opposing schools…specifically UT and Phillip Fulmer. He may be an asshole, but he can back it up. Is there any other coach you'd rather play 18 or share a beer with? Or both. Step to this, I dare you.

2. Bobby Johnson - Vanderbilt: Johnson loses some brain power points for the taking a job at Vanderbilt when he could have held out for a school where scoring a bowl game isn’t akin to winning The Powerball. Otherwise, he's as smart as they come. He does more with less than any other coach in the SEC. He's developed some great unheralded talent (see 3 All-SEC First teamers for 2007) and made Vanderbilt that much less of a punch line. When you can beat talent-stacked Georgia in Athens, you're coaching some smart football. Sadly, I don't care if you're the Stephen Hawking of college football coaching, you're going to lose, and lose your ass at Vandy.

3. Tommy Tuberville – Auburn: Tuberville reminds me of Leo's character from Catch Me If You Can. He loves to outsmart his opponent. Throw them off with a little slight of hand and/or some trickeration. He's also smart enough to know that he can't (and doesn't really want to) do it all. He's been called a genius "CEO" because of the way that he has learned to delegates all the "busy work." He doesn't necessarily coach anything. In fact, he doesn't recruit much of anything either. He merely hires smart and sets his assistants up for success. Naturally he comes out smelling like sweet Kentucky bourbon...all while he’s getting bombed with the Mrs. on Lake Martin. Tuberville loses a few IQ points because he often times lets his ego steer the ship. Whiny public remarks and risky decisions have dotted his career, however throughout the tough times, Tuberville has remained ostensibly, slightly above board and out of the real hot water.

4. Urban Meyer - Florida: Winning a national championship doesn't automatically make you a genius (see: Cheaty Pants McSweatervest) but Urban is no slouch when it comes to football IQ. It takes a brave man to run the spread option offense, but it takes a pretty damn intelligent man to actually pull it off. Conceiving, comprehending and memorizing the spread option playbook is difficult, but teaching it and implementing it with the talent at hand is the real test. And after just one marginal season, Urban pulled it all off beautifully. Of course, it's a little easier to make great wine when you inherit land in Napa Valley. I’ve said before, recruiting NFL caliber talent to Gainesville is about as difficult as getting Katrina victims to cash FEMA checks. Oh yes…Meyer loses major points for crying and generally acting like a silly bitch when things don't go his way.

5. Nick Saban - Alabama: Don't confuse drive and charisma with brains. Nick’s certainly high functioning when it comes to X's and O's, but he never seems to learn from his mental lapses away from the field. More so than another other SEC coach, Nick allows his ego to drive the bus. (wonder why he left a great situation at LSU?) Nick seems to burn bridges at every stop. Be it with the football staff, the media, or the fans. Even so, Saban can certainly turn on the charm when needed: forced media interaction, lying, recruiting (See his cameo in The Blindside). Nick is advanced in many subjects, but he’s also remedial when it comes to sincerity, honesty and tact. While he surely views these character traits as gay and/or superfluous to coaching football, some polish might make life at The Capstone a little bit more tolerable. I for one hope he continues to be a major league dick bandit. Sure makes my “job” easier.

6. Mark Richt – Georgia: Saint Mark doesn’t get the respect he deserves. Especially after last season's craptasticness (losing to Kentucky AND Vandy). Some people seem to forget how Richt took a sleeping giant in UGA and brought it back to the verge of greatness (UGA was an afterthought in the 90's). How can I say UGA is on the verge after 2 SECs in 6 seasons? Well, ask me how many times Richt's beat Florida. um that'd be once. Look for Richt to be considered more than just “a nice guy” with “some success” if/when he reverses the Cocktail Curse. Otherwise, Mark has proven to be extremely wise in the ways of college football coaching: He’s got a great scheme, he gameplans well, and he doesn’t get caught up in dick measuring, ego b.s. that entraps so many other potentially great SEC coaches (See Tuberville and Saban). He just coaches solid ball, with all his ducks in a row, his ego in check and his fly securely zipped. Richt also wins the award for "Coach least likely to Cheat on his Wife." Just thought I'd throw that in there.

You guessed it…I wrote all that in order to justify my Dumbest Coaches In The SEC List…Numbers 7-12 should be coming soon. But don’t hold your breath.

Stafford Loves to Compete

Whether it be on the field, off the field or at Talladega, Matthew Stafford loves making Joe Cox his bitch to compete.

Matty takes that spirit of competition to a whole new level as seen in this recently leaked Georgia Bulldog spring practice team photo.

How will Tebow answer?


Stafford is a man among boys (click to enlarge)

Credit: Loserswithsocks and Jai Eugene

DeepSouthSports Inspires...

Stafford's Kegmaster Tee Shirts



Dammit. Why didn't I think of this? (who wears their hat backwards these days anyway?) Maybe I need to follow the lead of every other blogger out there and start my own tee shirt shop.

I have to give the folks at SportsCrack credit. It's a sharp looking shirt. They make a quality product... blah, blah, blah. If only they could feature the shot of Stafford spooning his backup, and slide me 15% for my trouble. Seems fair to me.


Viva La Bromance!


The Source Post

Hat Tip: Mojo

Talladega Days

God Bless Facebook

Stoner in Georgia sent me an update on how freshman, All-Everything Quarterback Matthew Stafford is taking to off-season life here in the deep south.

As most of us know, half the fun of the big game weekend is the tailgate. But being a key cog in the football action, most football players never get a chance to experience the joys of pre-gaming.

However, Georgia quarterbacks Matt Stafford and Joe Cox have found a new way to bridge that gap. It's called The Spring Race at 'Dega.

Not sure if Coach Richt is going to approve of the keg lifts and 12 ounce curls, but at least the 5-star quarterback can recruit some talent.

Ah, lets all drink some natty and toast the good old days! Well, excluding the picture of Stafford snuggled up with a dude (Joe Cox).

DeepThought: Is Stafford chubby, or just big-boned?




Hot? Sure, but she's no Te-ho


Ah, freshman year life...the wonderment of beer



Calender Shoot: "The Women of Dega" - Auburn fan?


Cox got sacked by a fatty!


"You know how I know you're gay..You spooned a dude at Talladega"




Update: Thanks to a reader from Clemson, we now know that the female in question is an Auburn Fan who is a freshman at Alabama. Odd.