So Who Wins?

I love how the dude on the right has both his arms fully extended while he's on the mat. Like he won or something?! He looks like my dog when she's sleeping. Talk about a few badasses. Legends of Fighting, my taint.

Anti-Bama Fan of the Week

That's right, looks like Brother Micah is making another swing through the Deep South, and recently blessed "The Capstone" with his presence. He's apparently attempting to reach out and rehabilitate all the adderall snorters and coke whores of Tuscaloosa. (Good thing he stayed for a while)

But not the Homersexuals, or those who show their knees and bellybuttons, or the Catholics and Baptists, cause they're going straight to hell.



I love all the pseudo-intellectual Tider students who are attempting to honestly argue with this crazy scrote. Seriously, arguing with crazy is like arm-wrastlin a woman. Win or lose, you're gonna look like a douche bag.

If you listen closely you can hear him say that Alabama is more immoral than the FSU Criminoles. haha! Say that to Saban's face, Brother! I'm actually surprised "CNS" didn't have Brother Micah strung up in the quad.

More on this asshole:

- Brother Micah -- the preacher college kids love to hate [chicago sun-times]
- Micah has moved on to lecture the psuedo-intellectuals at Ole Miss [DM]

Was Gregg Doyel Sexually Abused in Oxford?

vs.

It's pretty clear Gregg Doyel of Sportsline.com has a little something against the University of Mississippi, where he spent a portion of his childhood. He rants about Ole Miss' supposed shortcomings quite often.

Well, Dorky Doyel is at it again. This time, he's raking a great man over the coals because he can't think of anything else to write about. This weeks attempted victim is Archie Manning.

Doyel is quick to say, Archie shouldn't be stealing his son's thunder. He should just disappear...fade away...

"Archie didn't go away Sunday. He went front and center. On the biggest day of his son's athletic career, the day Eli Manning led the Giants into Lambeau Field and did what no team in NFL history had ever done -- beat Green Bay at home in a title game -- Archie Manning stole the spotlight. If there was another father in the Giants' locker room, I didn't see him. Then again, how could I? Archie was blinding.

He had accomplices, of course. Only the most brilliant thief does it alone, and Archie Manning, for all his football ability, has never been accused of brilliance. To dominate the room, the winning locker room immediately after the NFC Championship Game, Archie needed help. And he got it from the media, who saw him standing there and couldn't help but seek his opinion."

First off, bullsh*t on Archie "dominating the locker room." I sure as hell didn't even glimpse Archie Manning when the Giants were celebrating and accepting the NFC championship.

Even so, when my young, oft-maligned, NFL quarterback son goes and wins three road playoff games on the way to the gosh darn Superbowl, you better believe I'm gonna be right down there in his mug, getting emotional and patting him on the back. Sue me, toolshed.

I certainly wouldn't give a rats ass what some random bleach blond, pube-hair goatee sportin' scrotum has to say about it on Wednesday. In those crazed moments, when your baby boy just beat living legend Brett Farve...in his house... to win the conference...when it was negative cold as balls, you don't think about what the media might say...you're just there for your boy. Right where he wants you to be.

"Archie has gotten a lot of media mileage out of his kids. If this comes off as armchair psychology, so be it, but I sense something unfulfilled in Archie. He was one of the most talented quarterbacks of his generation, but he was stuck for most of his career on the horrible New Orleans Saints and never played in the postseason. He's not in the NFL Hall of Fame, and it doesn't look like he ever will be. As good as he was, he had disappeared from the NFL conversation."

Wow. Hate to be Debbie Downer, Gregg, but this is a little more armchair psychology for you: Maybe that "unfulfilled something" you sense in Archie, is Archie knowing that his own father was never around to congratulate or applaud when he did good. Archie was 19 when his father committed suicide.

Yeah, maybe he's holding on to his boy a little tight. Maybe he lingers a little long in the locker room. Maybe he cares a little too much. So what? Instead of thinking Archie is somehow envious of his son's successes, try and think about it this way: Maybe Archie's still trying to give his boys another experience he missed out on. Asshole.



To Catch a Predator much?

DeepSouthSports' Best of 2007

Why does everybody insist on putting out their "Best of '07" lists before the years even done? Here at DeepSouthSports.net, we do things the right way, or we don't do them at all. Usually, it's the later. None the less, on the last day of the 2007 College Football season, I must say, It was a great year to be a fan. So much to enjoy, so much pain shared by all...and therefore, so much to make fun of. If only 2008 can capture some of that same magic.


Best College Football Team: The University of Georgia - It's not how you start, but how you finish that matters. (I'm going with The Dawgs, pending some insanity in tonight's BCS National Championship game)




Best College Football Game: Appalachian State 34, Michigan 32 - A D-IAA Southern school embarrassing a "Big 10 Power." What more you could you ask for? (even though Lloyd exacted a smidgen of revenge against UF in Orlando).




Best Deep South College Football Game: Kentucky 43, LSU 37 (3OT) - Both teams fighting for their undefeated lives. Did anybody see this coming preseason? Never in a parallel universe could I have ever imagined that the entire bar I was at in suburban Chicago would stop to watch the end of a Kentucky football game. That's the power of SEC Football.




Best Uber-Douche Player: Colt Brennan - Hawaii - Nice hair.




Best Uber-Douche Coach: Jim Levett - South Florida - Nice face.




Best Uber-Douche Fan(s): Tiger Pimp Nation - This was a tough one (so many worthy contenders), but as Saban would say, It's always fun to rip on a coonass. Or multiple connasses. What an embarrassment to an already somewhat Cousin-Eddie-esque fanbase...




Best Super-Stallion Player: Felix Jones - Arkansas - This badass never seems to get enough credit. 2007's numbers: 1164 yards at 8.74 per carry (which happens to lead the nation). Can you say "underutilized" and/or "undervalued?"




Best Super-Stallion Coach: Brian Kelly -Cincinatti - In his first season at the helm, Kelly made people fear the Bearcats...In Football. Just take a look at his numbers and get back to me, a-hole.




Best Movie: No Country for Old Men - Outstanding. A must see for all heterosexual males.


why is the older brother from the goonies pointing a gun at us?


Best TV: Dexter - My advice: Get Netflix, find an open weekend and rattle off Season 1, ASAP. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.




Best Sports Related Book I Read This Year: The Courting of Marcus Dupree by Willie Morris - This amazing, world renown author bring his unique style back home to Mississippi as he tells the tale of a big time "5 Star" running back's sordid recruitment. This book has as much to do with the unique culture of small town Mississippi as it does football. Good or bad, Morris vividly reveals how little has really changed in the 25 years since the books publishing.


Willie Morris


Biggest DeepSouthSports.net Blog Post: Talladega Days: The Ballad Of Matthew Stafford - I'd dare say, half the people who who first visited this site, did so because of this post heard round the South. Thanks, Matty.




Most Awful Announcing: Mike Patrick...




Most Awful Officiating: Alabama vs Ole Miss - This end-of-game call made absolutely no effing sense whatsoever. Thanks for screwing a great game, Doyle.




Best College Football Related Youtubery: Fake Lou Holtz - Cause it doesn't get much better than making fun of the elderly...especially when they have dementia coupled with a speech impediment...




Best Photo: Wes Byrum (Auburn) - after kicking a long winning field goal thus beating his home-state, undefeated, defending national champion Florida Gators (not once, but twice) on their home field. Post gator chop as well. In football, the life of a freshman kicker doesn't get much better than this...on the field, at least...




Best Bama Fan of the Week: The Party Crasher - A personal experience always tops a second-hand video or picture in my book. Especially when the rogue (read: wasted), middle aged Tider rides up to the party on his kid's Huffy. (I'll try and add an blurred image later today - to protect the not-so-innocent).


Best Will Muschamp Inspired Tee Shirt Idea: "BOOM, MF'ER!" -Even though potty-mouthed Muschamp is now dead to us in the SEC, his legacy will live on through this lively graphic based on this infamous clip..


[not sure who to credit for the above graphic found on edsbs]

and last but certainly not least...

The Britney Spears Award For Excellence (for the biggest media scandal whore of 2007): Nick M. effing Saban! - In 2007, This guy couldn't squat down to pee (like you know he does) without brushing up against the cold and wet toilet seat of scandal. If he wasn't telling bold faced lies in Miami, he was snatching kisses from DUI-bait at the Tuscaloosa airport, or committing recruiting violations, or "Not having time for this s**t" with the media or losing to Louisiana-Monroe, or selling out his players, or compairing the tragic death of thousands of Americans to a collegiate football game. Saint Nick's had a busy year. Saban also managed to fall from the heavens in 2007. Yep, he's back to mere millionaire mortal status after stumbling and bumbling to an underwhelming 7-6 record. Something tells me there won't quite be 92,000 at the spring game in 2008. But you never know...Crootin' looks strong.


When the price was right, Saban was extremely honored to join such an exclusive coaching fraternity [LWS]

Mindless Morning Youtubery

Big Ten Trash - Penn State Edition

Apparently Joe Pa is not the only one in State College, PA with the rage (NSFW - Cussin')...


Credit: Black Shoe Diaries

These obnoxious, date-raping scrotebags are projecting their anger. They're angry because they're from Pennsylvania. They're angry becuase it's cold. They're angry because their women wear ambiguous sweatshirts and stocking caps to football games to hide their pasty, pale, often unsightly Big-10 bodies. It must be very frustrating. They attack these equally douchey, yet undermanned, jersey-sporting tOSU fans because they're angry/sad on the inside.

By the way, what's the deal with these midwestern chodes and their attempted self-importance? We've all heard "THE Ohio State University," (which is homo erotic enough), but now it seems that Penn State is trying to make "THE Pennsylvania State University" happen. You don't hear the Necks from Starkville claiming, "THE Mississippi State University" or the coonasses with "THE Louisiana State University."

It just goes to show ya.

Bama Fan of the Week

You may have thought that we blew our proverbial Bammer wad a couple weeks back...Not So Fast, a-hole. There's still a little lead in the Tider of the Week pencil. (what?)

Ridin' Turdy


Charlie Weis is seen leaving Tuscaloosa after meeting with Saban at Qdoba Mexican Grill on The Strip

Is Weis secretly interviewing for a spot on Saban's staff after his craptastic 1-7 start? We think Crew-Cut Charlie is attempting to kiss-up a little bit with this sweet-assed bike. Wow, I'm pretty sure he's riding the new "Heavy-Duty, Daniel Moore Edition - Harley Davidson Douche Rocket." That's one lucky gunt.

HT: Thanks, Beth!

Bama Fans of the Week

A Select Group of Fans Welcome The Georgia Bulldogs to B.D.S. (NSFW)...


Hat Tip: Edsbs

Class, Class Class! BEHOLD...The next generation of Alabama's best and brightest lawyers and insurance salesmen. Damn, were we this effing annoying at 19? What a bunch of worthless, date-raping cock-mongrels.

Awesomely Bad Fans that Don't Happen to Cheer for The Tide

Wow. WTF? And he put this one on the internet himself? 0-3 vs The Orgeron.

Mindless Morning Youtubery

American Gladiators Is Back!

The music, the muscles, the tans, the tights, the perms, and the post-op trannies. It's all deadly, and it's coming back to NBC. We can only hope that the peacock will have the presence of mind to include Malibu in this ensemble cast...