Why Do People Talk Smack About Memphis?

My hometown always gets a bad rap. Here, watch some local news, and you'll see what nice, Christian families and Fortune 500 companies have grown to love about The Bluff City.


I've killed for less; Burr's expensive

Clemson Fan Owns The Alabama Super Fan

Nate Davis ain't got nothing on this dude

In anticipation of the season opening game between The Bama Crimson Tiders and the ACC's Clemson Tigers in the ATL, I give you The Clemson Super Fan (A.K.A. Nate Davis' Diddy):



You're thinking, "That's not really newsworthy, now is it?" Well...you'd be correct.

That was Clemson Tim's first ever tattoo...not too shabby. Well executed, relatively tasteful if you're into that sort of thing, right? Sure. But who wants to stop with just one tattoo? (sounds like a "gateway drugs" are bad talk) Below, is his second tattoo...

4 sessions, at least 28 hours and countless dollar bills later:




holy shitballs. I'm impressed and afraid all at once. He says it's not even done yet. At least he went for the more timeless symbols of the University like Howard's Rock and the Tiger instead of more transient imagery like say...Tommy Bowden or Tommy Bowden's daughter. (yeah, I'm not gonna link that)

Screw marching bands. How bout a Bama Nate vs. Clemson Tim "Steel Cage Match Halftime Spectacular" in the Georgia Dome? Are you freakin' kidding me? I gotta make some calls.

Compare and contrast...Who ya got?



[ImmortalImagesTattoo]

Mindless Morning Youtubery

You ever had one of those days at the office when you want to bust a co-worker in the head with your freakin keyboard, then toss your monitor at some gosh damn stupid lady's face? ... No?


Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane - Watch more free videos

[Rebhead @ nafoom.com]

Anti-Bama Fan of the Week

That's right, looks like Brother Micah is making another swing through the Deep South, and recently blessed "The Capstone" with his presence. He's apparently attempting to reach out and rehabilitate all the adderall snorters and coke whores of Tuscaloosa. (Good thing he stayed for a while)

But not the Homersexuals, or those who show their knees and bellybuttons, or the Catholics and Baptists, cause they're going straight to hell.



I love all the pseudo-intellectual Tider students who are attempting to honestly argue with this crazy scrote. Seriously, arguing with crazy is like arm-wrastlin a woman. Win or lose, you're gonna look like a douche bag.

If you listen closely you can hear him say that Alabama is more immoral than the FSU Criminoles. haha! Say that to Saban's face, Brother! I'm actually surprised "CNS" didn't have Brother Micah strung up in the quad.

More on this asshole:

- Brother Micah -- the preacher college kids love to hate [chicago sun-times]
- Micah has moved on to lecture the psuedo-intellectuals at Ole Miss [DM]

SEC Reality Shows

Have you ever thought that your school and/or football program needed a reality show? Of course you have. Otherwise, you wouldn't be at work checking a college football blog in July. So, assuming the consent of the football program (a slight assumption), these are the shows I would pitch to the networks, and I would make billions.

SEC West:



Alabama - Bama's Back? - The Rise of Sabanism

Lets start off with an easy one. How could this not be a #1 hit that makes American Idol look like watching C-SPAN at your grandmother's quilting convention in Jasper.

What would the over/under be on the number of the fan's, media and administration's children that Saban would eat per episode? And you thought Rush Probst was an egomaniacal asshat. After reading Saban's Itinerary, I'd be watching this 24/7 a la The Truman Show.

Plus, seeing Saban's cranium explode after his first loss to Houston on homecoming would take me to a very happy place. It would appear on Fox, but with Saban's filthy mouth, it would be much better suited for Showtime.


Auburn - How Big is Your Love?

Kenny Irons stars in a Bachelor-esque reality show where they pit 7 "average" ladies against 7 small midget dwarfs for all of Kenny's love and affection. The city of Auburn would host the spectacle and there would be plenty of mud wrastlin', 7 on 7 football and dates to whatever bar currently occupies the locale formally known as "The Blue Room." Obviously, this would appeal to the VH1 crowd that somehow embraces Flavor of Love.


Arkansas - Hawgasm

This Telenovela would make everybody in the Natural State forget about The Simple Life (the edsbs archives). The storylines are breathtaking. Character's include Beck Campbell and her Springdale Posse, Diane Nutt, Donna Bragg, Frank Broyles, Gus Malzahn, Darren McFadden, Dick Nut Johnson and that dips**t with the Arkansas fan poll... Why? Cause Arkansas fans are as crazy as Bama fans without all that old timey "Tradition" in the spank bank. In essence, this would be the only show in town, and what a magnificent multi layered show it would be.

Hawgasm would play out like a true life Pulp Fiction, with all the characters doin' they own thing until they come together in the end at Manhattan's Downtown Athletic Club for the Heisman Presentation...But when the curtain flies back...It's Coach Nutt, Beck Campbell and Lee Corso in how do I say...An unorthodox formation...playing a lively game of naked tag! And in the closest Heisman vote ever, the Award goes to Brian Brohm. WTF?! America's not ready for this brand of reality yet. This would certainly be a Telemundo exclusive.


LSU - Everybody Hates Les

Could this guy be anymore of a dickass turdface? All I know is he's a public relations nightmare, and he would make great TV. (Not that LSU fans care about any of that s**t - They'll piss all over you) Lester's assault on Hayley LaFontaine was truly something to behold. Yes, this walking, mouth-breathing bobble-head has all the cockiness of Saban and all the smarts of Gump. A lethal combination...unless you're looking for ratings. Which we are.


Mississippi State - The Slytanic

How to lose a Black SEC Head Football Coach in 60 Days. Lets face it. Things aren't exactly hunky dory in Starkganistan. This is Sly's 4th season in at MSU and the Bulldogs haven't tasted Bowl since Y2K when hell froze over (literally) in Shreveport. In fact, they haven't even won more than three games in a season! More importantly, there are Zero signs of improvement on the horizon (read: recruiting) Everybody wants Crooms to succeed real bad (at least they used ta), but this isn't The Post Office, and he's gonna have to show us something on the bottom line to even sniff year 5.

Basically, the show would revolve around how the administration is going to try and save face in this inevitable s**t storm of a firing. Sharpton, say what?


Ole Miss - The Courting of Jerrell Powe

Will this story ever effing die? This might make for a better novel than reality TV show. Jerrell Powe, the most sought after high school player that the state of Mississippi has produced since Marcus Dupree is trying for the old "third time's the charm" bulls**t. Jerrell has been denied college by the NCAA twice and now the Ole Miss administration is getting sick of all these shenanigans. Even his Momma, the one who's supposed to be forever in his corner, was callin' bulls**t on Jerrell. She was quoted as saying something along the lines of "That Mother F**ker Can't Read, Y'all!"

Needless to say, it was an ugly scene and made all the papers. Illiteracy issues aside, this show is a producer's wet dream. Plus, anything that involves The Orgeron is good for you and good for TV. If you ever thought that The Program needed a Reality based sequel, this show is for you.


Orgeron is money in the bank

I Wonder Why This Jacket's on "Super Clearance"

Why the hell would you not pay 275 bones for this sweet ass jacket? In case your family, friends and co-workers were wondering, wear this tri-tone leather jacket with pride and let everyone know that you are indeed a complete whitetrash, douchebag stud.

S**t, it's even on "Super Clearance" for some crazy assed reason. $191.20 Are you 'effin me?!? I'll take three.

Now, whenever some dummy Aubarn fan starts talking smack about "The Thumb" or "5 in a row," no need to ask them if they "Got Twelve?" Now you can just point at the back of your new leather National Champions jacket and walk away.

Score One For The Tide!

Happy Fourth from Hillary

If This Doesn't Get Your Vote...


I'm thinking Rosanne would make a fine running mate

This Just In...

Arkansas Fans be Crazy as Hell

You know what's crazier than an Arkansas fan? A Hog fan that lives in Alabama.

Roger Wooley of Tafford, Alabama wants your money. He wants your money to support his Razorback Fan Poll. What does Ole Rog offer in return? The Truth! The Damn Truth! The truth about what the state of Arkansas thinks about it's head honcho, Coach Houston Nutt...

We have contracted with an established, respected professional (wow - all three?) polling firm in Arkansas, to take an opinion poll of Razorback fans. Primarily about the state of the football program, plus a couple other topics (fragment). There are 2 topics that we primarily would like to see researched:

(1) The assertion that only a small portion of fans, such as 5%, are dissatisfied with Coach Nutt.

(2) The assertion that a "small, vocal, organized minority" is behind all the discontent; and that this minority is concentrated in NWA.

These questions will be answered both by the poll results, and hopefully by the number & geographic distribution of those who contribute to the fund raising (sold!).

We are shooting for 150 fans in each of the 4 Congressional districts. This will avoid skewing the data by a heavy concentration of responses from places like Little Rock or Springdale (commie bastards!).

Genius, Roger!

See, Roger and his constituency are concerned...concerned that the public opinion of Nutt may be "different" than what the vocal minority of "Houston-Haters" would have you believe. Gasp!

Here's a few examples of this groundbreaking poll questions, just to wet your appetite (and open your pocketbook):

Qualifier:Are you an employee of the University of Arkansas? If no, proceed.

1. How often do you watch, listen to, or attend Razorback Football games?

a. Every possible occasion b.Occasionally c.Rarely.

2. What is your primary source of Razorback football information?

a. TV b.radio c.newspaper d.internet e. family and friends f.all

3. What is your secondary source of information?

4. How many people do you speak with about Razorback sports on a regular basis?

5. When speaking before a group in Texas earlier this year, Frank Broyles said that the Arkansas football team has the potential to be the 7th best football program in the SEC. Do you agree with that statement, or do you think the program can do better?

a. agree b. the program can do better

Don't sit on the sidelines and let misinformation about Arkansas Football go unpunished. You too can support this important effort to bring some truthiness to The Natural State!

Just send your paychecks to:

Roger Wooley
345 Doe Trail
Trafford, AL 35172

Seriously. Roger doesn't trust free, online polling, and stamp prices just went up again, asshole. Oh yeah, don't worry. He'll give any excess funds to Charity*.


Hilariously unrelated, crazed Hawg fan


Hat Tip: Bob/River
Roger's Site: Razorbackfanpoll.com
More Info: TheHogBlogger

* Charity is employed by Wesley's Boobie Trap in Dora, Alabama